lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
My LJ icons package is about to expire ;_; I have almost 300 icons over there but I’m not giving them any more money, so very soon they’ll mostly go. (The paid account itself doesn’t expire til August, and then I’m back down to the basics.) On the other hand, I’m in the middle of uploading a bunch more Dreamwidth icons, now my premium account’s got me up to 260. I have put quite a bit of energy into curating my icon collection, guys, you don’t even know.

So this seems like the perfect moment to do a userpics meme. Basically, pick 3 userpics (or more) from here or here, and I’ll tell you something about why I have it. (You can post the icons in the comment box or give me the keywords I chose, e.g. ‘Thor: space princess’.) If you include the word CONVERSE in your comment, I’ll pick 3 of yours to ask about.

Real post coming soon.
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Hi guys! Wow, it’s been aaaages. I’ve been working like crazy the last few weeks. It should taper off in the next few weeks, or at least the timetabling should get less crazy. (These are the moments when I wonder if I should try qualifying as a secondary school teacher after all, cos I’d get paid a lot more for my exhaustion. My tax form tells me I survived on £12.6k for nine months in London, which is TMI but I’m sharing it because that number keeps rattling around in my head. I don’t know whether it makes me what to curl up and never spend money again or be like I AM A FUCKING GOD OF BUDGETING LET’S DO THIS.)

Anyway.

I’m adding new people here on Dreamwidth, and I’m gonna try and do an intro post/getting-to-know-you meme soon. (As well as brief thoughts on LJ’s latest round of poor choices, and the new series of Doctor Who.) But for now I’m just gonna post what I got, which is a slightly edited Tumblr reblog I want to be able to find again.

The [livejournal.com profile] online_bookclub read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child in April and I was in the group chat for some of it. Something that came up was Delphi’s existence, and the weirdness of the idea of Voldemort and Bellatrix having a baby - and it’s a massive sticking point for people in general, I think, even those who like CC. I was thinking about that, and then my friend [tumblr.com profile] boundingheart posted that “if you can accept that Hagrid’s parents had him, you can accept that Voldemort and Bellatrix had Delphi.”

Now I’m actually totally down for Delphi’s existence (even if I’m firmly Team IT WAS A MAGICAL RITUAL) but I still disagree with that, because there are definitely factors that affect people not accepting Voldemort and Bellatrix conceiving a child that don’t affect Hagrid’s parents. It’s about more than just squick )
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Draco: Did you know that in this other reality - the reality Scorpius saw into - I was Head of Magical Law Enforcement? Maybe this room will be mine soon enough.

*pause*

Draco (deadpan): Mwa ha ha.

My struggles

Sunday, 2 April 2017 12:22 pm
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
So, there’s this girl.

No wait, more context.

She’s the childhood bestie of one of my best friends, who I met at uni. She’s an enormously clever, funny ex-lawyer social worker and we’ve always got on really well. She’s also straight, which is relevant to this story. She came to my and my BFF’s joint birthday thing and we had a great chat, and she was wearing this top with SO. MUCH. CLEAVAGE. At some point:

LOKI (muttering): I don't want to be a perv but I keep staring at her boobs.
VIOLET (murmuring): I know. The short hair and the leather jacket is confusing.
LOKI: *nods passionately*

That, kids, is why empathy from Sapphic girls is so important.

And I feel bad, like I’m buying into stereotypes, because man. I was never attracted to her at all before, although she was pretty, but she just put a picture up on Facebook and she’s gone EVEN SHORTER except for some strands at the front and she’s got messy kohl eyeliner and two little black plugs in her ear!!!

This is so unfair.

In other news, am at that annoying stage of illness where I feel more-or-less okay, but it’s unclear if that will still be the case if I actually do anything. I kind of want to go to the gym - I haven’t been in weeks and do rather enjoy it - but also I worry I’d cough all over everything the second I started panting. So instead I’m eating ice cream while I rewatch Youtubers playing My Horse Prince, which is a dating sim about a girl in love with a human-faced horse.
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
So this is Part 1 of the Why Cursed Child Isn’t Queerbaiting post, because this point kept growing and threatening to overwhelm everything else.

As ever, feel free to disagree strongly and tell me about it! We can still be friends :D Although I’m also going to explain why I disagree with you if I do.

I’ve repeatedly seen the idea that Albus and Scorpius’ discussion of his crush on Rose at the end of Cursed Child comes out of nowhere, and therefore constitutes a frantic “no homo” - i.e. the moment that turns queer subtext into queerbaiting, rushing to assure the audience that there’s nothing gay here despite all the homoerotic hinting.

Well, no. For one thing, Scorpius’ feelings about Rose do not come out of nowhere at the end. He says “I think she’s brilliant” right from the start; he’s the one who freaks out when Rose is vanished by the changes to the timeline (“it’s Rose!”) even though she’s Albus’ cousin. Scorpius barely knows her, so this definitely comes across as a crush/hero-worship, but he’s got it going on throughout. But more importantly, Scorpius and Albus are not written as a romance in JKR’s idiom )

RL, lately

Friday, 31 March 2017 10:03 pm
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
The downside of having a working sleep schedule for even a couple of days seems to be that I can’t nap. Which is sad because I love naps and I’m fucking exhausted. I have a touch of tonsillitis I think (my body is a wonderland for that particular disease - I’ve had it upwards of 15 times in my life and I’m 27) and I’ve been working a lot.

Which on one level is great - not least because I can’t think of another month in my life thus far where spending £200 on tickets to see Cursed Child one more time would be a detour on my paying-off-debt goals but totally possible as opposed to massively out of reach. BUT IT IS AND I’M GOING AND I’M SO EXCITED. :DDD The cast is changing very soon, and while I’m sure the new cast will be great, I’m so grateful I’ll be able to see them all again. Noma and Jamie Parker will be especially hard to replace in my heart.

But oh god I’m so tired. bit about work )

I missed you! I’m so sad to have missed the sign-ups for H/D Remix and HP Threesomes and to not have had anything in the Ron/Draco fest. But life’s been very busy. Before my epic work weeks, I’ve been Doing London all over the place. Which is nice! Because London actually has a lot of free/low-cost-for-what-it-is stuff, and doing them is part of what makes the rent and the air pollution and the noise one thousand percent worth it, so that I can’t imagine loving anywhere else like this.

I went to the British Museum’s Crick Crack Club collaboration. storytelling, a musical, Hidden Figures )

I saw a rock musical about Lizzie Borden and Get Out as well, but that’s another post.

My birthday

Monday, 27 February 2017 03:47 am
lokifan: Martha and Donna looking excited, text "squee!" (Squee! companions)
I’m in a great mood even though OW SO SORE. And not even for pervy reasons ;)

Earlier this week it was my birthday! Which was great, and thank you for the kind messages – will reply soonest, assuming the internet holds up better than it has been.

On the day [livejournal.com profile] dora_the_nymph, her lovely husband A, and I went to see an all-female, one-hour version of Taming of the Shrew in a fringe pub. It was also set in 90s rave culture, which meant everyone was onstage (or at the side of the stage still acting) at all times dancing and that. The rave culture thing was a bit random and I think basically just there to allow for hilarious costuming and turning the “packet [whose] worth is great” line into a cocaine joke.

blah blah SHAKESPEARE PRESENTS BALLPIT INNA CLUB )
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Title: A Right and Proper Lay
Characters/pairings: Charlie Weasley/Lucy Weasley, Lucy/her husband (background)
Word count: ~2200
Rating: Explicit
Content: incest, highly dub-con, manipulation, adultery, Charlie’s crude POV
Summary: Uncle Charlie got Lucy for Secret Santa, and he’s given her a scandalous present. Everyone knows the best part about giving presents is getting to see the recipient enjoying them.
Author’s Notes: This was my January DD fic. I fulfilled an unused Kinky Kristmas wish, number #36. The wish was for Dirty Uncle Charlie with dub-con, and the prompt was “Secret Santa”.

This is a sequel to an earlier Daily Deviant fic of mine, The Right and Proper Way (on AO3 here). You don’t need it for the plot but if you’re enticed by this bit of perversion you’ll like that one too!

on AO3

A Right and Proper Lay )

Episodes meme

Saturday, 18 February 2017 12:43 am
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
I've been doing absolutely nothing productive in the last two weeks, out of a combination of bad sleep, lots of work, seeing friends and the Sims 3. (I only install the Sims when I'm giving myself permission to not be very productive; I hadn't written anything for a week or two beforehand anyway.) I miss you guys and don't have many plans this weekend. Let's do a meme.

Relevant fandoms: Buffy, Angel, Orphan Black, Steven Universe, Jessica Jones, Agent Carter, Dark Angel, Korra, Last Airbender, Supergirl, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, No 6, Black Butler, Pretty Little Liars, Being Human, White Collar. I'll give Luke Cage, Glee or Dollhouse a go if you like, too.

Gacked from EVERYONE:

Name an episode (or episodes, as many as you like) from one of the following shows [or perhaps books from series?] and I will tell you the following about it.

What I like about it.

What I don't like about it.

Favorite line.

Best performance.

A scene/idea from it that's particularly interesting to me.

Something I would have changed to make the episode better.
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Thought I'd post this as well since today is shaping up to be meta day. I’ve come to “who you really are, that doesn’t matter. It’s the legend. The stories, the adventures.”

Noooooooo.

The voiceover at the end gets its own post, because I’m getting into the ~thematic significance and Doctor Who comparisons and such.

we’re all stories in the end )
lokifan: by unlockable (Korra/Asami)
You can tell by how late I am posting this how much I’m interested-yet-not-in-the-fandom. And yet: so many opinions! There'll be another post about "who you really are? it doesn't matter" and stories.

First off: I really enjoyed most of it. I totally get why those who enjoy Sherlock for the, er, Sherlock Holmes elements - solving mysteries - would be disappointed by the relative lack of it. But I share with Mark Gatiss a serious taste for Gothic horror, and that was in evidence not just in the opening sequence but really throughout: an old house, family secrets, a mad, posh family degenerating. I like the shlocky horror too. So I was basically down for that.

It also meant I wasn’t really bothered by Sherlock having forgotten his sister. The mind is sort of amazing when it wants to repress, but more importantly family secrets and voluntary amnesia, and repressing the existence of unpleasantly realities until they force their way into the light? It’s really bloody Gothic and the episode laid its cards on the table right away with that mad opening sequence. So while I really do sympathise with people being infuriated by unrealistic or implausible moments, the psychology hung together for me and I’m all about taking the story on its own terms, within the genre it’s chosen for itself. Sherlock may have a lot of justifiably irritated fans who came for a murder-mystery story as the series has often been, but I didn’t find the shift too difficult.

more thoughts on the finale, some more rageful than others )

Flare Up

Saturday, 4 February 2017 05:05 pm
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Title: Flare Up
Word count: ~1900
Characters/pairings: Ron/Draco
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Draco is still afraid of fire sometimes. Ron helps.
Content: Wax play, bondage & blindfold, some cuddly D/s
Author’s Notes: I thought I’d catch up on one of my Twelve Days of Christmas drabbles ficlets. This one’s for [livejournal.com profile] my_thestral, who requested ‘Ron/Draco, candlelight.’



On AO3

Flare Up )
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)


Day 15

In your own space, write a love letter to Fandom in general, to a particular fandom, to a trope, a relationship, a character, or to your flist/circle/followers. Share you love and squee as loud as you want to. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


Dear fandom,

You’ve brought me more than I could ever really enumerate here. I mean, it was because I went to Azkatraz, a Potter con in 2009, that I met many of the people who are now close friends in RL. A lot of those people no longer share a fandom with me, but it doesn’t matter.

When I was twenty-one, I slapped my sister in the face and my mum kicked me out )
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)


Day 12

In your own space, post a rec for fannish spaces and resources - comms, challenges, twitters, tumblrs, etc. Tell us about where you hang out. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


This one’s tough for me because I basically hang out on my flist, or more occasionally my Tumblr dash; even when I hang out elsewhere it’s often like, a meta person’s LJ so I can discuss stuff in the comments.

Fannish resources:

[livejournal.com profile] crack_broom: years’ worth of high-quality, tagged Harry Potter recs.

[livejournal.com profile] potterfests: given the fest-centric nature of Potter fandom, especially on LJ/DW, this is absolutely necessary and a fantastic resource.

[community profile] halfamoon: an annual fourteen-day challenge celebrating female characters. It starts TOMORROW and runs until Valentine’s Day! You can create fic or art or icons or vids, or do recs or meta or anything. It’s great.

General resources:

[tumblr.com profile] writingwithcolor: several mods from different backgrounds answer questions about writing BME/POC characters. I found it very helpful when struggling with whether an idea for some original fiction was appropriative - Googling previously having led me to various ideas and articles that were inappropriate or unhelpful for various reasons.

[tumblr.com profile] bisexualbooks: my reading fail last year means I’ve still read staggeringly few bisexual characters in my bibliophile life. (Two, both of them ‘hedonistic’.) But this tumblr is a fantastic resource nonetheless.
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
FYI, my January DD fic - Dirty Uncle Charlie porn - is up here. Read the warnings and have fun :D



Day 11

In your own space, talk about a creator. Show us why you think they are amazing. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


This seemed impossibly difficult; there are so many creators whose work I love. But I mentioned [livejournal.com profile] lizardspots to the relatively-new-to-fandom [livejournal.com profile] mywitch the other week, and [livejournal.com profile] mywitch didn’t know who she was. Which is totally fair but made me sad because Lizard’s art is FANTASTIC and I don’t want people to miss out on it - particularly given that [livejournal.com profile] mywitch is a massive Snape fan and Lizard did so much great Snape art.

[livejournal.com profile] lizardspots isn’t really in fandom any more though she’s still a friend of mine and sporadically updates her LJ to let people know how her life is going. She has a massive masterlist with lots of different characters, including cute gen and pervy porn. Her work is mostly Potter but there’s a decent chunk of other fandoms too. She’s got a sly wit, a lot of atmosphere, gorgeously detailed backgrounds, and did I mention the porn?

cut for LOADS of recs - mostly HP, a bit of Merlin and White Collar )
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Let’s talk about Cursed Child in script vs production. Now obviously the production adds a vast amount of detail & light and shade to the script that can’t exist in the script alone. That’s theatre. But there are a few elements of that and a few outright changes that I want to document for people.

NB: I’ve seen Cursed Child four times in the last seven months, and have seen more than one actor for several key roles including Albus, Scorpius, and Harry. That said my memory is not perfect!

#1 and #2 are the actual script changes, fyi. Everything else is about implication.

script vs production )
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Day 13

In your own space, write about a moment in fandom that meant a lot to you. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


A moment is very hard to choose! The Victory Ball at Diacon was full of gorgeous, shining moments: looking round at all these people having a blast, eating and dancing and laughing with my friends and knowing that we did it.

The better choice, though, might be Easter 2010. That’s when my grandmother died unexpectedly - well, as unexpectedly as any death that happens to someone in her late eighties. It was the Easter holidays and my flatmates had all gone home already. I hadn’t wanted to go home so quickly (issues with the family) but then she died. I was taking the train in a few days anyway and the train’s expensive at the last minute; it didn’t occur to me to ask for a lift.

So I spent a few days on my own, and what I mostly did was lie on the floor of my room with my laptop and read every fic from [livejournal.com profile] hp_getlucky as it was posted. The theme of “luck” meant that the fic was mostly happy - even the angstier stuff, like one where Draco gets addicted to Felix Felicis, would have a happy ending. It was exactly what I needed at the time, regularly posted & predictably happy fic. I don’t think I commented on any of it. It all seemed too fraught, and I couldn’t think of what to say. (I should try going back to it now, actually.) But despite the bit of guilt there, that makes it a more meaningful memory for me in a way. Usually I try to comment and participate and be part of the ecosystem that encourages fans to create and spend time here, and I think that’s important. But I didn’t do that this time and fandom was still there to give me exactly what I needed at the time I needed it - not in a personal way because people know me, but just because I was a reader who found it at the right moment. It felt like a gift.
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)


Day 7

In your own space, create a fanwork. Make a drabble, a ficlet, a podfic, or an icon, art or meta or a rec list. Arts and crafts. Draft a critical essay about a particular media. Put together a picspam or a fanmix. Write a review of a Broadway show, a movie, a concert, a poetry reading, a museum trip, a you-should-be-listening-to-this-band essay. Compose some limericks, haikus, free-form poetry, 5-word stories. Document a particular bit of real person canon. Take some pictures. Draw a stick-figure comic. Create something. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


Title: Melted
Word count: ~200
Characters/pairings:Haryr/Draco
Rating: Universal
Summary: London has no snow.
Content: fluff
Author’s Notes: I thought I’d use this opportunity to write one of my owed Twelve Days of Christmas drabbles ficlets. This one’s for [livejournal.com profile] enchanted_jae, who requested ‘Harry/Draco, kiss in the snow.’

Melted )
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)


Day 10

In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme. (More than one is okay, too.) Tell us about it, tell us why you love it, give us some examples and recs. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


Thinking about this, I actually found the underlying element that ties together a lot of my kinks, both sexual (clothed/naked, humiliation) and narrative (hurt/comfort, forced confessions). That is forced vulnerability. Sometimes in my favourite fics that vulnerability is respected, and other characters are kind in the face of it. Sometimes they’re very much not, which is also fabulous :D

I feel like it’s totally obvious why I love it - it’s deep enough in my id that it’s hard to explain, and of course you share it you just nodded like “yes, of course.” Enemy ships often involve a moment where the enemies recognise that the other person is really a person in the same way they are, and not unrelatedly, vulnerable to hurt - and my love for enemy ships and forced vulnerability is probably pretty chicken-and-egg. (Buffy/Faith, my ultimate OTP, is sooooo good for this. I also have a theory that it’s a significant part of why Harry/Draco shippers love the Sectrumsempra scene so much, and the idea that Harry left scars.) And on the kinkier side, part of why I love Draco getting beaten down so much is his privileged background getting turned all around. The fluffier kinkfic I write does this backwards: it tends to linger on doms being careful of their subs’ sore spots.

It plays into my darker kinks to have vulnerability exploited, and my softer side to have people be kind in the face of it. And I really do believe that respecting vulnerability, whether or not the vulnerable people are good people, is a fundamental requirement of morality and civilisation. It’s a fundamental tenet of my lefty liberalism, now that I think about it. I have strong feelings about civil liberties, about prison reform, and about the end of the death penalty worldwide. For me all those things are deeply connected to the idea that just because the government has physical & legal & psychological power over you doesn’t mean they should use it - in fact, very much the opposite.

Let’s get to the recs before I get any more pompous :D )
lokifan: Close-up of Buffy standing up in "Chosen", text "HBIC" (Buffy: HBIC)


Day 14
Go forth and commit an act of kindness. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it, tell us about it if you’re comfortable doing so.


I thought I’d do one of the missing Snowflake Challenges, since the mods assure us there’s no hard deadline. And I’m going to count something I did today. I went to the anti-Trump Women’s March here in London. It was great: a really positive atmosphere, despite the angst of the thing and the fact that 15 000 to 25 000 people were expected to show up and it was actually 100 000.

On a personal note, I’m glad I did it because I immediately felt so much better than yesterday. Doing something helped a lot, as did the community aspect. Both my sisters and my mum were there, and I marched with the female cousin of mine who lives in London and two American friends of hers. YAY SISTERHOOD.

A Japanese tourist asked me what was happening. I said it was an anti-Trump women’s march, and he expressed confusion because “this is the UK” - and that’s the reason I’m counting this as an act of kindness, because I was able to explain it politely and also, thanks to my job, avoid using the English most native speakers don’t realise is difficult (i.e. phrasal verbs). It was helpful for me too, because I’m a measurable goals sort of person and this is the first demonstration I’ve been on that didn’t really have one? Not a shared one, anyway. Not least because while I know some disagree, I do not think Pence would be an improvement.

So I told him that it was in solidarity with American women, as well as brown & black & immigrant Americans. And that it was to express our public grief and anger. To push forward a little on myriad feminist & lefty causes closer to home - I saw Repeal The Eighth signs (re: the appalling lack of abortion rights for Irish & Northern Irish women) and tampon tax signs as well as anti-Brexit ones. To inflict what international pressure we can on Trump & Republicans, particularly given the British/American “Special Relationship” and Trump’s being a bit of an Anglophile. And that because Britain is significantly more left-wing than the US, the US has elected several presidents who kind of horrified Britons, most famously George W Bush. But this is on a new scale, and this is not normal. That was the most important reason, I realised as I was saying it. To show that This Is Not Normal.

the signs were epic - more details here, photos on Tumblr )

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