This is so relatable!! I don’t have a specific ‘type’ with women: I like femme and butch and everything else, blondes, brunettes and redheads, and all shapes and sizes. Same!!! I certainly have issues around weight and food, but I have an average body type and have been pretty much all my life. I got some cruel mockery from family members for being chubby in comparison to a very slender sibling which made me self-conscious for years, but this obviously doesn't compare at all to what I can imagine someone goes through when subjected to fatphobia routinely. Thinking about body image and fatphobia made me realise that it was one of the ways I could be harsh and unfair to myself -- in ways I would never even consider being to others. Anyway, nowadays I guess I'm considered outside beauty norms because I go out of my way to ensure I do: I absolutely loathe being catcalled and generally getting unwanted attention for my appearance (it's not just that I loathe it, actually; it might trigger me into dissociation, a panic attack, traumatic flashbacks, that kind of things). I love a lot of girly/femme things, but I hate the attention and familiarity that comes with it from a lot of people -- I've noticed that when I wear a flowery dress or pink sneakers people feel more entitled to talking to me and patronising me, so I just stopped altogether wearing most feminine-coded clothing in public because I just don't have the energy to deal with that shift. Realising that I found butch women, soft masc/hard fem people v attractive certainly helped in making steps that make me feel safer and happier with my appearance now. Having a buzzcut and never wearing make-up sometimes gets me weird looks or remarks, but compared to the unwanted attention I got when I had long hair and dressed more femme, it's a day at the beach.
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I don’t have a specific ‘type’ with women: I like femme and butch and everything else, blondes, brunettes and redheads, and all shapes and sizes.
Same!!!
I certainly have issues around weight and food, but I have an average body type and have been pretty much all my life. I got some cruel mockery from family members for being chubby in comparison to a very slender sibling which made me self-conscious for years, but this obviously doesn't compare at all to what I can imagine someone goes through when subjected to fatphobia routinely. Thinking about body image and fatphobia made me realise that it was one of the ways I could be harsh and unfair to myself -- in ways I would never even consider being to others.
Anyway, nowadays I guess I'm considered outside beauty norms because I go out of my way to ensure I do: I absolutely loathe being catcalled and generally getting unwanted attention for my appearance (it's not just that I loathe it, actually; it might trigger me into dissociation, a panic attack, traumatic flashbacks, that kind of things). I love a lot of girly/femme things, but I hate the attention and familiarity that comes with it from a lot of people -- I've noticed that when I wear a flowery dress or pink sneakers people feel more entitled to talking to me and patronising me, so I just stopped altogether wearing most feminine-coded clothing in public because I just don't have the energy to deal with that shift. Realising that I found butch women, soft masc/hard fem people v attractive certainly helped in making steps that make me feel safer and happier with my appearance now. Having a buzzcut and never wearing make-up sometimes gets me weird looks or remarks, but compared to the unwanted attention I got when I had long hair and dressed more femme, it's a day at the beach.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts <3