She's so much older than me

[lokifan]

Once again my intentions to post more on DW (or the social internet in general) have fallen by the wayside, lol.

Something I’ve been thinking about: it’s interesting to be 33, and have aged to the point where young stars (Olivia Rodrigo, Billie Eilish) feel so young. Like, I definitely still like and appreciate them, but they’re so clearly very young. Which I think is def used as a selling point, right, like the sincerity and authenticity etc. And man I’m so aware of it with both of them.


In Olivia Rodrigo’s Driver’s License, especially: Guess you didn’t mean what you wrote in that song about me/ cos you said forever, now I drive alone past your street. Like my instinctive reaction to that is ‘sweetie, I’m sure he meant it at the time.’ I feel for her but it’s very different from identifying with it.

And Deja Vu, too; I actually really like that song, because I can’t think of another song about that specific experience of watching online as someone does certain specific things with their new partner that they did with you (other than Becky’s So Hot by Fletcher). And yet at the same time, the idea that taking music or food that exes (or anybody else) introduced to you and bringing them with you as part of you is somehow dishonest is pretty silly, tbh. I see why she feels that way at that age, but I think the way we’re made up of what people in our past taught us is beautiful. So Olivia seems very young to me. Not helped by the way she swears, lol. Her swearing really sticks out and seems unnatural in a way that makes her seem much younger than she is. Lingering remnants of Disney, maybe.

And then oh my god, the angry songs they’ve written about older men who exploited them. It’s never happened to me but there’s definitely an automatic empathy, because it’s happened to so many women and girls. But I definitely experience it now in an auntie kind of way. Cause girls your age know better is the line that hits me hardest in Vampire, because like, I’m pretty sure I’m the girl his age, and I wish she’d had better warnings or protection from us. But of course it didn’t work, cos patriarchy gets inside us in more ways than one: and every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news/ You called them crazy/God, I hate the way I called them crazy too.

Everything about Billie Eilish’s Happier Than Ever causes me so many emotions. Like that I feel along with her, partly cos the production is so good, as well as her performance and lyrics. But at the same time I have an auntie/big sister reaction to it, as well as some of her other songs that touch on young women or girls being exploited by older men. I’ve aged out of it being a threat to me, but I still feel strongly about it, just in a different way.

I haven’t really noticed aging changing my reaction to music before. I imagine it’ll keep happening!

Comments

[lunabee34]

Ha, yes. I have this reaction to lots of media now but also real life. I'm a decade older than you, and I interact with 18-19 year olds on a regular basis as a professor, and this feeling is where I live.

[lokifan]

Yeah, I teach that age group myself - I teach ESOL, and in January I started teaching at a college that basically does six-month courses to prepare international students for British universities. And yepppppp. They're so young! The students are like 'you're not old' when I mention being old (fooled by the bi-flag-coloured hair, haha) and I'm like 'compared to you I am!' and they're like 'ohhhh yeah.'

[lunabee34]

See, I'm old enough that I'm their mom's age. I look like their mom. There's no you're not old. There's an instant acceptance that I am indeed very old. LOL

[eggsbenedict]

Haha, it sort of creeps up on you, doesn't it? It's interesting to read your detailed impressions though!

[lokifan]

:) Haha, thanks.

Yeah this feeling of being definitively at a different life stage from the youngest pop stars definitely came slowly and then all at once!

[ceciliaj]

Yeah, life really does have seasons! For example, it's been a long time since I've had a crush on anyone, so sometimes I'm like, you know, Taylor Swift really is a bit too obsessed with relationships. I mean, you can spend your life caring about whatever you want! Nobody is impressed that I spend my time doing whatever I do either. It's just like, I think romantic love is probably pretty much doomed if it's the only thing you care about and you don't also fall in love with someone who, fortuitously, shares your exact values about how to turn that into a life plan with babies and health insurance and retirement plans and picnics with the in-laws.

[lokifan]

Ahahaha, yep!! Not that I'd know.

God, on that note, I do want a relationship, but also the apps seem terrible; I spent an hour fiddling with one and haven't been on it since. On the plus side I agree with myself about financial planning :) Seems much harder when you bring in someone else.

[sabethea]

I’ve found it with footballers, where I feel like I kind of want to mother/auntie them! That’s a dead weird feeling after going from being much younger and full of admiration, and now being like, “oh, bless the child, no…”

[Ha, am still amused by the time I implicitly told Anton Ferdinand (a moderately famous footballer, and brother of Rio) off. He was deliberately winding up the home crowd by running on the pitch and Mouse asked why. As a wheelchair user, I was right by the pitch, so I explained, loudly enough for Anton to hear, that this was what he was doing, “and it’s really very childish of him, he ought to know better.” He stopped after that!]

[lokifan]

AHAHAHAHA omg.

I somehow missed this comment at the time and just rediscovered it, and I love it so much. But I do totally know what you mean! Footballers is a great example.