lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Hiya! Wow, it’s been so long - not counting the odd post about horrifying current events, at least. I can’t remember the last time I was quiet for so long. (Pause for people who know me IRL to be like, ‘we can’t either. We were enjoying it…’) Things are pretty good, though - a bit skint but not too bad, and there’s been lots of gorgeous autumn weather. Cool weather and turning leaves and bright blue skies <333

I did SO MANY THINGS in August, and then basically spent September recovering. August was working a lot of twelve-hour days (it’s the busy season), going away for two long weekends, and seeing twelve different flats before I found this one. Plus actually moving!

stuff about moving & the new place )

Meme time, I think; it’d be nice to chat properly.

Give me one or more characters, and I'll tell you:

First impression
Impression now
Favorite moment
Ship them with
Idea for a story
Unpopular opinion
Favorite relationship
Favorite headcanon

Remember, YOU'RE TOTALLY ALLOWED TO DISAGREE WITH MY OPINIONS IN PUBLIC. Just be prepared for me to be all 'no, because...' but none of that means I like you any less :)

Fandoms: Potter, Buffy/Angel, MCU (including TV except for Agents of Shield), Steven Universe, Supergirl/Flash/Arrow, Glee, Dark Angel, AtLA/Korra, Orphan Black, Doctor Who, White Collar, Black Butler, #6, Pretty Little Liars. Also Diana Wynne Jones books. IDK I'm pretty flexible :D

Orrrr if that all seems too much like hard work, we can turn to my favourite old stand-by: you ask me a question, and I'll answer and also ask you a question that's somehow related to yours.

Five things

Sunday, 30 July 2017 02:53 pm
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
1. Apparently my fic Aftershocks was one of the most popular Harry/Draco fics on AO3 in 2016! At least as far as drarry-specific-recs can tell, from hits. What??? It’s like 2k of after-sex fingering. But then I guess that would back up my theory that a lot of the most successful fic (in terms of attention/love) combines a big pairing with an offbeat kink.

2. I have a problem with my left eye which will probably not get better, but is far from a disaster. (I can’t read with the left eye alone, but my peripheral vision is fine and my right eye compensates, so I barely notice having a floater in the left eye.) Mostly I notice when I do my eye make-up. Right now I’m relieved that the attempt at making it better - two INJECTIONS INTO MY EYE, NEEDLE IN MY ACTUAL EYE OH MY GOD - is probably over.

3. I signed up for [community profile] hd_erised. I was in at nine minutes and the very last sign-up. Now the waiting for my assignment begins! I wouldn’t be surprised if this was my last fic for that fest - although not my last HP fic! - so. Yeah. I’m pleased I got in, although we’ll see how I feel once I get my match!

4. Friday I went to see ‘Queers’ with [personal profile] kabal42, [profile] magicatmungos, and [personal profile] mokatiki. It was gorgeous - four monologues from queer men (I think three gay, one trans and straight) going forward in time. They were funny, heartbreaking, clever, and also really wonderfully expressed some of the ambiguity within the community about respectability, and legality, and the feeling of loss that comes with not being an “outlaw” as you become accepted. That’s not something I see talked about much, but it’s a very real tension. Also different varieties of happy endings. <3

5. I’m sorry I’m SO TERRIBLE at comment replies right now. It’s 100000% not you, it’s me.
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
There has been so much DOING OF THINGS in the last few months and I’d really like to document it. In an attempt to make sure (a) I actually do that and (b) that it’s not too unwieldy, or rather totally unreadable, I’m gonna steal [personal profile] copperbadge’s Three Things format: three bullet points and an extra per item.

Three Things About My Life RecentlyThree Things About My Life Recently )

More to follow :)

London Pride 2017

Sunday, 9 July 2017 03:02 pm
lokifan: by unlockable (Korra/Asami)
So London Pride was amaaaaazing, as ever :D I showed up at 3 to start marching at 4, because London Pride is massive and our streets are narrow so even Section C didn’t get started for a good three hours. I marched with the National Union of Teachers - I was with two of my best friends, who’re both in the NUT, and my god I’d like to be unionised. So it was me, Violet and the Dark Lady (this was their first married Pride! ♥), Miss Godfrey, and Miss Godfrey’s lovely colleague and his husband. Lovely Colleague is a newly-qualified teacher and has been told Miss Godfrey is a bad influence (their school is a HORRORSHOW to the extent that Miss Godfrey is probably about to blow the whistle on SATS-results-fiddling). His lovely Korean husband was having his FIRST PRIDE EVER and they both clearly had a blast.

shoot me down, I won't fall )

Kink in a nutshell

Thursday, 6 July 2017 10:37 pm
lokifan: Text "I'll take orders, I like taking orders, just tell me what to do" (I like taking orders)
Kink encapsulated by two of my colleagues today:

S: Just tell me what to do.
J: Yes! I love telling you what to do!
S: I love not thinking about anything!
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
GUYS. I didn’t tell you about the Beatles night.

So a month or so ago it was the fiftieth anniversary of Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. The next night was Friday and a Hackney club planned a Sgt Pepper night, with DJs playing Beatles (and etc) tracks and a live band doing the whole album.

I went with my friends Violet and the Dark Lady and we were SUPER EXCITED. I love the Beatles and the Dark Lady is a superfan, as are her parents - she was almost named Rita because of the song (and Rita Hayworth). So I got this genuine 60s Sgt-Pepper-style jacket in pure white, and the Dark Lady did incredibly elaborate Twiggy eye make-up, and Violet got out her mod boots. We predrank and had pizza at theirs and headed to the club.

When we arrived the booths were full of late-middle-aged people, and the dancefloor had clumps of young people who’d dressed up like us. We got drinks and listened to Beatles tracks like Come Together, which I fucking adore, and talked about being feminist John Lennon fans and how your favourite Beatle changes as you age. It was great. We also noticed the guy who played Lord Percy on Blackadder in a booth.

Eventually the live band came on. first bad sign )
lokifan: Text "London", sepia Big Ben & stamps (London)
This latest attack has hit closer to home than any attack before. I have students at Finsbury Park mosque; I have a student living on Seven Sisters Road; it’s two tube stops from me. There were friends-of-friends on Facebook whose mums go to that mosque and hadn’t heard from them yet; an old National Union of Students LGBTQ acquaintance goes there. Today has not been my best day ever. And given that both ISIS-inspired dickheads and Islamophobic terrorists seem to love attacking during Ramadan I am worrying a bit about Eid.

I keep thinking about the imam there, Mohammed Mahmoud. He’s just thirty years old, and he heard the crash and ran out. By then a group of men had the suspect pinned down, and they were beating him - incredibly scary, but understandable, given they’d just seen him mow people down. (And specifically mow down people who had circled round an elderly man having a medical emergency, wanting to help. I don’t understand.) And the imam yelled at them - don’t hurt him, just wait for the police. Then he and a group of others stayed there, protecting this person they’d just seen gleefully murder people they knew, for what must have been an endless eight minutes until the police arrived.

A few hours earlier I’d been watching Cursed Child again with two good friends.

HARRY: She’s a murderer, and we’re not.

HERMIONE: We have to be better than them.

RON: It’s really annoying but it’s what we learnt.

My struggles

Sunday, 2 April 2017 12:22 pm
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
So, there’s this girl.

No wait, more context.

She’s the childhood bestie of one of my best friends, who I met at uni. She’s an enormously clever, funny ex-lawyer social worker and we’ve always got on really well. She’s also straight, which is relevant to this story. She came to my and my BFF’s joint birthday thing and we had a great chat, and she was wearing this top with SO. MUCH. CLEAVAGE. At some point:

LOKI (muttering): I don't want to be a perv but I keep staring at her boobs.
VIOLET (murmuring): I know. The short hair and the leather jacket is confusing.
LOKI: *nods passionately*

That, kids, is why empathy from Sapphic girls is so important.

And I feel bad, like I’m buying into stereotypes, because man. I was never attracted to her at all before, although she was pretty, but she just put a picture up on Facebook and she’s gone EVEN SHORTER except for some strands at the front and she’s got messy kohl eyeliner and two little black plugs in her ear!!!

This is so unfair.

In other news, am at that annoying stage of illness where I feel more-or-less okay, but it’s unclear if that will still be the case if I actually do anything. I kind of want to go to the gym - I haven’t been in weeks and do rather enjoy it - but also I worry I’d cough all over everything the second I started panting. So instead I’m eating ice cream while I rewatch Youtubers playing My Horse Prince, which is a dating sim about a girl in love with a human-faced horse.

RL, lately

Friday, 31 March 2017 10:03 pm
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
The downside of having a working sleep schedule for even a couple of days seems to be that I can’t nap. Which is sad because I love naps and I’m fucking exhausted. I have a touch of tonsillitis I think (my body is a wonderland for that particular disease - I’ve had it upwards of 15 times in my life and I’m 27) and I’ve been working a lot.

Which on one level is great - not least because I can’t think of another month in my life thus far where spending £200 on tickets to see Cursed Child one more time would be a detour on my paying-off-debt goals but totally possible as opposed to massively out of reach. BUT IT IS AND I’M GOING AND I’M SO EXCITED. :DDD The cast is changing very soon, and while I’m sure the new cast will be great, I’m so grateful I’ll be able to see them all again. Noma and Jamie Parker will be especially hard to replace in my heart.

But oh god I’m so tired. bit about work )

I missed you! I’m so sad to have missed the sign-ups for H/D Remix and HP Threesomes and to not have had anything in the Ron/Draco fest. But life’s been very busy. Before my epic work weeks, I’ve been Doing London all over the place. Which is nice! Because London actually has a lot of free/low-cost-for-what-it-is stuff, and doing them is part of what makes the rent and the air pollution and the noise one thousand percent worth it, so that I can’t imagine loving anywhere else like this.

I went to the British Museum’s Crick Crack Club collaboration. storytelling, a musical, Hidden Figures )

I saw a rock musical about Lizzie Borden and Get Out as well, but that’s another post.

My birthday

Monday, 27 February 2017 03:47 am
lokifan: Martha and Donna looking excited, text "squee!" (Squee! companions)
I’m in a great mood even though OW SO SORE. And not even for pervy reasons ;)

Earlier this week it was my birthday! Which was great, and thank you for the kind messages – will reply soonest, assuming the internet holds up better than it has been.

On the day [livejournal.com profile] dora_the_nymph, her lovely husband A, and I went to see an all-female, one-hour version of Taming of the Shrew in a fringe pub. It was also set in 90s rave culture, which meant everyone was onstage (or at the side of the stage still acting) at all times dancing and that. The rave culture thing was a bit random and I think basically just there to allow for hilarious costuming and turning the “packet [whose] worth is great” line into a cocaine joke.

lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)

Day 15

In your own space, write a love letter to Fandom in general, to a particular fandom, to a trope, a relationship, a character, or to your flist/circle/followers. Share you love and squee as loud as you want to. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Dear fandom,

You’ve brought me more than I could ever really enumerate here. I mean, it was because I went to Azkatraz, a Potter con in 2009, that I met many of the people who are now close friends in RL. A lot of those people no longer share a fandom with me, but it doesn’t matter.

When I was twenty-one, I slapped my sister in the face and my mum kicked me out )
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)

Day 13

In your own space, write about a moment in fandom that meant a lot to you. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

A moment is very hard to choose! The Victory Ball at Diacon was full of gorgeous, shining moments: looking round at all these people having a blast, eating and dancing and laughing with my friends and knowing that we did it.

The better choice, though, might be Easter 2010. That’s when my grandmother died unexpectedly - well, as unexpectedly as any death that happens to someone in her late eighties. It was the Easter holidays and my flatmates had all gone home already. I hadn’t wanted to go home so quickly (issues with the family) but then she died. I was taking the train in a few days anyway and the train’s expensive at the last minute; it didn’t occur to me to ask for a lift.

So I spent a few days on my own, and what I mostly did was lie on the floor of my room with my laptop and read every fic from [livejournal.com profile] hp_getlucky as it was posted. The theme of “luck” meant that the fic was mostly happy - even the angstier stuff, like one where Draco gets addicted to Felix Felicis, would have a happy ending. It was exactly what I needed at the time, regularly posted & predictably happy fic. I don’t think I commented on any of it. It all seemed too fraught, and I couldn’t think of what to say. (I should try going back to it now, actually.) But despite the bit of guilt there, that makes it a more meaningful memory for me in a way. Usually I try to comment and participate and be part of the ecosystem that encourages fans to create and spend time here, and I think that’s important. But I didn’t do that this time and fandom was still there to give me exactly what I needed at the time I needed it - not in a personal way because people know me, but just because I was a reader who found it at the right moment. It felt like a gift.
lokifan: Close-up of Buffy standing up in "Chosen", text "HBIC" (Buffy: HBIC)

Day 14
Go forth and commit an act of kindness. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it, tell us about it if you’re comfortable doing so.

I thought I’d do one of the missing Snowflake Challenges, since the mods assure us there’s no hard deadline. And I’m going to count something I did today. I went to the anti-Trump Women’s March here in London. It was great: a really positive atmosphere, despite the angst of the thing and the fact that 15 000 to 25 000 people were expected to show up and it was actually 100 000.

On a personal note, I’m glad I did it because I immediately felt so much better than yesterday. Doing something helped a lot, as did the community aspect. Both my sisters and my mum were there, and I marched with the female cousin of mine who lives in London and two American friends of hers. YAY SISTERHOOD.

A Japanese tourist asked me what was happening. I said it was an anti-Trump women’s march, and he expressed confusion because “this is the UK” - and that’s the reason I’m counting this as an act of kindness, because I was able to explain it politely and also, thanks to my job, avoid using the English most native speakers don’t realise is difficult (i.e. phrasal verbs). It was helpful for me too, because I’m a measurable goals sort of person and this is the first demonstration I’ve been on that didn’t really have one? Not a shared one, anyway. Not least because while I know some disagree, I do not think Pence would be an improvement.

So I told him that it was in solidarity with American women, as well as brown & black & immigrant Americans. And that it was to express our public grief and anger. To push forward a little on myriad feminist & lefty causes closer to home - I saw Repeal The Eighth signs (re: the appalling lack of abortion rights for Irish & Northern Irish women) and tampon tax signs as well as anti-Brexit ones. To inflict what international pressure we can on Trump & Republicans, particularly given the British/American “Special Relationship” and Trump’s being a bit of an Anglophile. And that because Britain is significantly more left-wing than the US, the US has elected several presidents who kind of horrified Britons, most famously George W Bush. But this is on a new scale, and this is not normal. That was the most important reason, I realised as I was saying it. To show that This Is Not Normal.

the signs were epic - more details here, photos on Tumblr )
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Hey, I never told you guys I was at the last day of Nine Worlds! It was SUPER brief so sadly I didn’t meet any flisters (and saw like five people across the bar I wanted to chat with and then they were gone. *waves at [personal profile] rozk and [profile] abigailb*) It was great though. At about 11a.m. I was at Miss Godfrey and Ginger Nut’s flat, having stayed over after bridesmaid-ing, and feeling happy but very sweaty and morning-after-y, when what do I see? A Facebook post offering a Sunday pass because a friend of mine, sadly, had ill family members. So I nabbed it, went home and showered, and then LAST SIX HOURS OF NINE WORLDS YAY. Which just consisted of barcon, basically, but it was lovely to stop in and soak up the energy.

Also hahaha it was funny being in that particular place, because like. Suddenly am not the femme-iest queer girl in the room! *hugs [profile] dora_the_nymph and her glitter nail varnish* And at the wedding - well both brides are very femme, right, but I was in this plunging bridesmaid dress with a massive petticoat and sparkly heels, and then some mutual friends from uni showed up, who were two lesbians + girlfriends all rocking the buttoned-up-shirt-and-jeans uniform. The five of us went outside to hang out/smoke, and I looked around and was just like ...yes, yep, I am definitely on one side of this dynamic.

(A ~friend of mine did my hair before a fancy evening one time, and I loooove getting my hair played with and pulled and she was being all subtly dominant and it was great. But it does make me laugh in retrospect because like, how do femme women flirt with each other? CONSTRUCTING ELABORATE UPDOS. Obviously.)

drunken family wedding shenanigans - not mine )

ANYWAY. I’m staying in tonight and looking at jobs abroad (my work has become very part-time, I don’t think it’ll be tenable after October) and I’m thinking I’ll do a meme to encourage chatting. I’ve missed you guys.

joomla visitor

Cursed Child Eve

Saturday, 20 August 2016 11:39 pm
lokifan: Martha and Donna looking excited, text "squee!" (Squee! companions)
Tomorrow I’m going to see Cursed Child! So excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve heard great things from my friends who’ve actually seen it. A lot of ‘meh’, ‘middling’, ‘disappointing’ kind of noises from those who’ve read the script, but theatre lives in performance and the reviews have been stellar so I’m expecting great things. I have very little idea about the plot - thank you for cutting spoilers, everyone. I was originally going to see the play in late June, but then moving to Italy happened. I’m so lucky because it was riiiight as I was about to go nuts and dive into a pile of spoilers that a lovely fandom friend offered a spare ticket.

This is weird and lovely. It doesn't feel like new Potter to me in the way the books did, because it's a different medium - but it is a medium I love and I really have no expectations. Man I'm glad I have no particular feelings about the next gen, although I do definitely have feelings and Draco and his family, including the next generation of it.

(I thought about writing an epilogue-compliant H/D at one point where they sleep together, and for Harry it's this grand revelation and anguished emotion and he asks Draco to leave Astoria, and Draco's like "...but I have an open marriage, and I love her. I'm happy with my wife, it's not my fault if you're not happy with yours." And Harry's all emotional and Draco can't not be affected by it, in all these complicated painful ways because of all their history. But he talks about how Astoria was old enough to be hugely affected by the war, but not old enough to be required to take sides (if you imagine her as three or four years younger). And the Greengrasses weren't Death Eaters. She had the chance to choose someone else and she chose him, despite all the stains of his past, the sins of his father. And that's always what Draco wanted, to be chosen. And how could he ever repay that by walking away? So it ends with Harry heartbroken, poor kiddo, and Draco as always putting his family above everything else and having Astoria do the same for him. Anyway...)

It’s lovely to have this be my first play now I’m back in London as well - I did miss the theatre living in Cagliari!

AFTER ALL IT’S ONLY ONE MORE SLEEP TIL ~CURSED CHILD (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

joomla visitor


Friday, 19 August 2016 11:43 pm
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)

So there’s a very cute boy at work with curly ginger hair, who’s kind of geeky - he’s mentioned “cosplay”, he’s a philosophy graduate who’s studying maths for fun and he really wants me to watch Vikings. We get on v well.


In those words. The words of someone who knows.

It was a group lunchtime conversation. Vikings and their attractiveness had come up via Boy’s love for this TV programme. (I’m sorry, my usual devotion to silly nicknames has been overwhelmed by this situation.) And then...

LOKIFAN: There’s a lot of Viking romance novels.
BOY: Yeah but there’s a lot of Harry/Draco slash fiction.
LOKIFAN: blink. blink. blink
LOKIFAN: There’s nothing wrong with that!
BOY: I know, I’ve written most of it.

Boy leaves. Lokifan is left to FREAK THE FUCK OUT internally while surrounded by colleagues

SO YEAH. I mean what he said was vaguely derogatory but he said it in a slight undertone, and then left the room, in a way that reads embarrassed to me? And I do have my lightning bolt tattoo. He’s also mentioned privately he suffers from depression. It totally seems like he might be a fannish type - he’s just the sort of person who would be - who correctly read me as one too but was unsure.


Fingers crossed for bi/heterosexuality, guys, because basically he’s secretly gay or my soulmate.

joomla visitor

lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Hi guys! I’m sorry to have gone silent. I haven’t posted in seven weeks, wow - that’s a really long time for me. In that month I moved country and started a new job though, as well as a few other things.

I was going to do one post about being back in the UK and then a separate post about the EU referendum and everything related to it because WOW DEPRESSING POST THERE LOKI, but it turns out I can’t because it’s been so deeply embedded in everything since. A post about the Sardinian experience will appear later, but...

it’s honestly been a process of grieving )

Life in general is very busy - I’m doing evening work at least three nights a week, and still trying to find a job for September and finish all the admin of moving. But it’s mostly pretty good - am super-poor but that’ll be better in September and have had some great soshul tiems lately. New colleagues are nice and there’s so much happening in London in summer. Just need to not think about the wider world or the fandomy stuff I was hoping I’d be able to do.

Oh, and the busy meant I missed Erised sign-ups. Saaaad. :( Signing up to pinch-hit tho!

joomla visitor

lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
Guess what happened on Thursday? I nearly got brained by random heavy objects! I was teaching in a classroom that has a standard whiteboard, with a big monitor above it. Behind the monitor are tucked two speakers. I was writing on the whiteboard about articles when BAM! The speakers crashed down. I jumped backwards and didn’t get hit purely by luck. The bracket holding things up suddenly went, so the monitor was hanging drunkenly off the wall and the speakers had hit with a crash heard in all the surrounding classrooms.


Everyone was unhurt, but EEK.

Anyway. Am apparently incapable of a substantive post so here are two things I got tagged for on Tumblr approximately an ice age ago. I’m tagging [personal profile] kikimay, [profile] amorette, [personal profile] eidheann_writes, [personal profile] birdsofshore and [personal profile] isinuyasha. Pick one or both :)

Potter opinions meme )

writing meme )


Sunday, 6 December 2015 06:02 pm
lokifan: Close-up of Grell grinning over his glasses (Grell: smile)
It’s almost exactly two years since I got back from a year in Vietnam, and now I’m off again. Just for six months this time, to Italy -- more specifically the capital of Sardinia, Cagliari. It looks beautiful, full of history, and there’s a beach. Plus Italian seems like it will be much easier than Vietnamese was :) So yeah, should be fun! And I’ll be back at the end of June, so I won’t miss Pride events, or the hen nights gearing up for my besties’ wedding!

Plus it’s well-paid for an Italian TEFL job and I MIGHT get training to be a Cambridge oral examiner.

I had Fake Christmas with some dear friends last night -- presents, yummy food and Anastasia -- and I was all OMG WHY when telling them. BUT I’m definitely excited overall :D And haha, I’ll be out of here in very early January to a Mediterranean island!

amy bouncing

Help me come up with a tag for Italian travels, guys. I loved "Gon girl" for Vietnam posts but for obvious reasons it doesn't really work here :) ALTHOUGH I HAVE CHOSEN A NEW TEACHING TAG BECAUSE IT'S PARTICULARLY PERFECT RIGHT NOW.

joomla visitor

lokifan: black Converse against a black background (In the beginning was Douglas Adams)
I am stressing the fuck out. I have to have moved out of my place by noon on Sunday and I haven't found a new place to live. I don't have a job, I just have four different very part-time jobs which don't pay my rent. My Kindle broke today.

I will hopefully have a job very soon, I signed on with a recruitment agency on Wednesday, and I've organised for some of my stuff to go into storage so I don't have to pay for a white van man when I move. My mum will help me move back home (uggggggh) tomorrow, or possibly she won't if I can find somewhere nearby to live by then. I just. Aaaaaaaaah

Adulthood is a scary horse, you guys.

SO EVERYTHING IS EXTREMELY UNSETTLED. I have no idea where I'll be working or living in a week. But I am sort of handling it! I don't know! Agh! Plus money worries are the worst and this Spanish dude I teach two evenings a week at his swank London Bridge office is away for at least a fortnight. Which is kind of a blessing because I can pack and freak out tonight instead of teaching but still. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Let's do a meme. One that I can check back in on every so often and requires very little brainpower, and also lets me catch up with you guys. How about the Fandom Tennis Meme?

You leave me a question and I will answer and ask you a question thematically related to yours, and then we continue until we get bored. Fandom or RL, pick your poison.

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