![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yhlee(cross-posted to ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
communal_creators)
Earlier:
- part 0: preliminaries (includes partial glossary of terms)
I know there are a lot of people who haaaaaate being forced to sit through video but since audio playback is inherent to the enterprise...This is under a minute, promise.
This is a brief demonstration of the opening of one of my compositions partially engraved (~sheet music typesetting) in Dorico. The two industry-standard engraving apps in media composition scoring are Dorico and Sibelius; Finale used to be a third but was sunsetted to much consternation.
If you come from classical music (especially classical orchestral music), you may be ??? about the score formatting. This is because scores for session orchestra and concert/classical orchestra have different formatting! (See part 0: preliminaries for more detail as to why). Differences for session orchestra you see here include:
- Score is in C (NOT a transposing score for the conductor - nota bene, transposing is "allowed" for octaves), but we won't have e.g. horn in F or trumpet in Bb. ( Read more... )
As for playback:
- Guess what, Dorico and Sibelius at the level of orchestral scores are spendy. :]
- I'm using NotePerformer, which is the standard higher-quality playback engine, especially if you don't have time to mock it up in the DAW (or you're an art/concert composer for whom a mockup is not part of your workflow). But that's also money (~$130 USD).
NotePerformer is pretty credible with a lot of orchestral instruments. You still have to massage its output. For example, in Sibelius [not shown] you can set playback to molto espressivo (LOTS OF FEELING) vs. senza espressivo (NO FEELINGS EVER!!!) (etc). My experience is that particular instruments can be less "real"-sounding and the "vocalists" (both SATB choir and associated "solo" voices) are absolutely terrible, as in "my vacuum cleaner sings more credibly than this" terrible.
Aside: There are some good vocal VST libraries for specific use cases. I hate that I am often able to straight-up identify "Oh yeah, XYZ floating ethereal ~Celtic Twilight vibes soprano 'ahhh' ululation in this trailer/score/whatever was $SPECIFIC_VST_LIBRARY" because, apparently, I have no life; but this is not unusual in this field.
I know at least one full-time composer/orchestrator/musician who straight-up bounces NotePerformer output and then processes that in the DAW (reverb etc) and, you know, this person makes a living doing this. So that's one route one can take.
Why, you ask, can't we just export this score-stuff into a DAW with all the fancy (...spendy) VST instruments and "paste in" nicer/more individualized instruments? Dorico (and Sibelius) do in fact export to MIDI and MusicXML. [1] This is a very reasonable question that will be the topic of the next walkthrough (part 2), mainly because it's a surprisingly (annoying) complicated topic as to why this is rarely straightforward. (Let me tell you all about negative track delay...)
[1] Missed these glossary items earlier! ( brief explanations of MIDI and MusicXML )
Happy to answer questions, although I have no idea if anyone else finds this interesting. :p
communal_creators)Earlier:
- part 0: preliminaries (includes partial glossary of terms)
I know there are a lot of people who haaaaaate being forced to sit through video but since audio playback is inherent to the enterprise...This is under a minute, promise.
This is a brief demonstration of the opening of one of my compositions partially engraved (~sheet music typesetting) in Dorico. The two industry-standard engraving apps in media composition scoring are Dorico and Sibelius; Finale used to be a third but was sunsetted to much consternation.
If you come from classical music (especially classical orchestral music), you may be ??? about the score formatting. This is because scores for session orchestra and concert/classical orchestra have different formatting! (See part 0: preliminaries for more detail as to why). Differences for session orchestra you see here include:
- Score is in C (NOT a transposing score for the conductor - nota bene, transposing is "allowed" for octaves), but we won't have e.g. horn in F or trumpet in Bb. ( Read more... )
As for playback:
- Guess what, Dorico and Sibelius at the level of orchestral scores are spendy. :]
- I'm using NotePerformer, which is the standard higher-quality playback engine, especially if you don't have time to mock it up in the DAW (or you're an art/concert composer for whom a mockup is not part of your workflow). But that's also money (~$130 USD).
NotePerformer is pretty credible with a lot of orchestral instruments. You still have to massage its output. For example, in Sibelius [not shown] you can set playback to molto espressivo (LOTS OF FEELING) vs. senza espressivo (NO FEELINGS EVER!!!) (etc). My experience is that particular instruments can be less "real"-sounding and the "vocalists" (both SATB choir and associated "solo" voices) are absolutely terrible, as in "my vacuum cleaner sings more credibly than this" terrible.
Aside: There are some good vocal VST libraries for specific use cases. I hate that I am often able to straight-up identify "Oh yeah, XYZ floating ethereal ~Celtic Twilight vibes soprano 'ahhh' ululation in this trailer/score/whatever was $SPECIFIC_VST_LIBRARY" because, apparently, I have no life; but this is not unusual in this field.
I know at least one full-time composer/orchestrator/musician who straight-up bounces NotePerformer output and then processes that in the DAW (reverb etc) and, you know, this person makes a living doing this. So that's one route one can take.
Why, you ask, can't we just export this score-stuff into a DAW with all the fancy (...spendy) VST instruments and "paste in" nicer/more individualized instruments? Dorico (and Sibelius) do in fact export to MIDI and MusicXML. [1] This is a very reasonable question that will be the topic of the next walkthrough (part 2), mainly because it's a surprisingly (annoying) complicated topic as to why this is rarely straightforward. (Let me tell you all about negative track delay...)
[1] Missed these glossary items earlier! ( brief explanations of MIDI and MusicXML )
Happy to answer questions, although I have no idea if anyone else finds this interesting. :p
workweek reading recs (15 September 2025)
Sep. 14th, 2025 05:59 pmmatsushima posting in longreadsI've missed the last two workweek reading rec posts. I try to get these up on Monday but I happen to have time now (Sunday evening) and I don't know for sure if I'll have the spoons to do it tomorrow after work, so… here it is: workweek reading recs for the week of 15 September, 2025.
- Beloved Bother (2025/08)
- Charlie Kirk's Legacy Deserves No Mourning (2025/09)
- How Did Taylor Swift Convince the World that She's Relatable? (2025/09)
- Wikipedia Is Resilient Because It Is Boring (2025/09)
- The Great Parmesan Cheese Enigma (2025/09)
- Fiction: A Witch’s Guide to Escape: A Practical Compendium of Portal Fantasies
Get Rec’d with Amanda – Volume 98
Sep. 14th, 2025 08:00 am![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
smartbitches_feedWelcome back, everyone!
This round has a romance and a thriller, plus more nonfiction (as always). I just can’t help myself. Out of the nonfiction, one is more biography and the other is definitely a bummer.
Do you have any recommendations to share? Let us know in the comments!
The Most Unusual Haunting of Edgar Lovejoy
This one really slipped under the radar of new releases, and I know Roan Parrish is frequently recommended on the site. A cute and spooky-ish option for fall.
Jamie Wendon-Dale may design haunted houses, but they don’t actually believe in ghosts—until they meet Edgar Lovejoy, who is tall, clever, beautiful…and 100% haunted.
A COZY, GHOSTLY LGBTQIA+ ROMANCE
Jamie Wendon-Dale (transmasc they/them) creates haunted houses for a living. Haunting is their life—but nobody working New Orleans’ spooky circuit actually believes in ghosts.
Edgar Lovejoy (cis he/him) is 100% haunted. No, really. Ghosts have tormented him since childhood and he’s organized his life around attempts to avoid them.
Opposites? Get ready to attract. But while Jamie’s biggest concern is that Edgar sometimes seems a bit distracted, Edgar’s fears are much greater. Not only is he scared of encountering the dearly departed whenever he leaves the house, but he’s terrified of making himself vulnerable to Jamie. After all, how do you tell someone who believes ghosts only exist as smoke and mirrors that you see them everywhere you go? And how can you trust in a happy future when you can’t even believe in yourself?
A little spooky, a little magical, and a whole lot The (Most Unusual) Haunting of Edgar Lovejoy will leave you feeling like you’ve found a brand new bookish family of your own.
The New Age of Sexism
Laura Bates frequently writes about sexism and with the rise of AI, there’s (unfortunately) another way to spread sexism and misogyny. Definitely not an easy read.
Misogyny is being hardwired into our future. Can we stop it?
We like to believe we’re moving closer to equality, riding the wave of technological progress into a brighter, fairer future. But beneath the glossy surface of innovation lies a chilling new technologies are not just failing to solve age-old inequalities—they’re deepening them.
In The New Age of Sexism, acclaimed author and activist Laura Bates exposes how misogyny is being coded into the very fabric of our future. From the biases embedded in artificial intelligence to the alarming rise of sex robots and the toxic dynamics of the metaverse, Bates takes readers on a shocking journey into a world where technology is weaponized against women.
This isn’t a dystopian warning about what might happen. It’s a harrowing account of what’s happening now and the dangers we face if we don’t act. With clarity and urgency, Bates reveals how these advancements are dragging society backward, reinforcing harmful stereotypes, and jeopardizing decades of progress in the fight for gender equality.
Eye-opening and empowering, The New Age of Sexism is a rallying cry for awareness and action in a world where the battle for equality has entered a dangerous new frontier.
Too Old for This
For all my senior sleuth readers! However, I’d say this one isn’t as cozy as some of the other books within the subgenre.
A retired serial killer’s quiet life is upended by an unexpected visitor. To protect her secret, there’s only one option left—what’s another murder? From bestselling author Samantha Downing.
Lottie Jones thought her crimes were behind her.
Decades earlier, she changed her identity and tucked herself away in a small town. Her most exciting nights are the weekly bingo games at the local church and gossiping with her friends.
When investigative journalist Plum Dixon shows up on her doorstep asking questions about Lottie’s past and specifically her involvement with numerous unsolved cases, well, Lottie just can’t have that.
But getting away with murder is hard enough when you’re young. And when Lottie receives another annoying knock on the door, she realizes this crime might just be the death of her…
Wild for Austen
After all the summer releases are over, my brain immediately goes into gift mode when it comes to books. The bookseller part of my personality will never turn off, I fear. If there’s an Austenite in your life, I highly suggest this for gift giving.
Incisive, funny, and deeply-researched insights into the life, writing, and legacy of Jane Austen, by the preeminent scholar Devoney Looser.
Thieves! Spies! Abolitionists! Ghosts! If we ever truly believed Jane Austen to be a quiet spinster, scholar Devoney Looser puts that myth to rest at last in Wild for Austen. These, and many other events and characters, come to life throughout this rollicking book. Austen, we learn, was far wilder in her time than we’ve given her credit for, and Looser traces the fascinating and fantastical journey her legacy has taken over the past 250 years.
All six of Austen’s completed novels are examined here, and Looser uncovers striking new gems therein, as well as in Austen’s juvenilia, unfinished fiction, and even essays and poetry. Looser also takes on entirely new scholarship, writing about Austen’s relationship to the abolitionist movement and women’s suffrage. In examining the legacy of Austen’s works, Looser reveals the film adaptations that might have changed Hollywood history had they come to fruition, and tells extraordinary stories of ghost-sightings, Austen novels cited in courts of law, and the eclectic members of the Austen extended family whose own outrageous lives seem wilder than fiction.
Written with warmth, humor, and remarkable details never before published, Wild for Austen is the ultimate tribute to Jane Austen.
August 2025 Reads
Sep. 14th, 2025 01:04 amtjs_whatnotOddly light month. I'm not sure why. I mean I did accidentally get a new job towards the end of it (a story for another post), but before that I should have gotten a lot more read. I think it was because I had way too many books going at the same time this month.
( August 2025 )
( August 2025 )
September EMP Meme
Sep. 14th, 2025 12:41 amenablemeplzFOR GAME ADS: ➤ Put an ad up with the characters / crew / pairings / kink you want for your game under the correct game header. This meme is primarily going to be focused on DWRP games but IJ and LJ games are allowed. ➤ PLEASE NOTE A RULE CHANGE HERE. ABSOLUTELY NO obnoxious coding (no font size > size 4 or 3 "big" tags, no oversized banners (they must be 250px in height or less), no blinking text, no obnoxious table html that doesn't collapse easily, no fonts and other html that make ads super long, no sparklies, no large pictures). Use all the colors you like, but please remember 3 "big" tags is the limit and that's only for headers or title text rather than for all the text in an ad. FOR GAME QUESTIONS: ➤ RPers interested in a game can create a header for the game and ask questions about that game that aren't easy to find on faqs, such as the actual pace vs. what's listed/what kind of plots are run/if the game leans more towards plotty or slice of life/if a game leans more towards network or logs, etc. Both anon questions and anon answers are welcome in this section just like in the rest of the meme. ➤ This thread is not for speaking about wank or drama in a game. There are anoncomms that exist for that. This thread is specifically for general questions about a game that rpers want to get perspective on from players already in the game. Answers can be slightly negative (such as saying app response is slow or that the plots are repetitive or similar things) but this should at least be worded politely. Unnecessary vitriol, any mention of personal drama or wank, or mod teams/individual mods/players being singled out, will be either frozen or screened (based on what seems right based on the content). FOR CHARACTER ADS: ➤ Put up an ad about the characters you are offering. For PSL ads, there is a separate subthread but for character ads for games, post directly to the meme post. Others will comment to you with the games/casts they want you to join. ➤ There is a "Find a Castmate" section, where you can talk about a cast you play in at a game, and try to lure people to join it. Not all games post to the meme or have a "wanted" section, so players that want to tempt people to their cast on their own can use this section for it. Please format this the same as the PSL section, where you post your character's canon in your subject. For the actual text of the ad you must use the "Find a Castmate" form provided at the bottom of this post so that these ads don't get huge. When listing who's currently in a cast, please do this in sentence form (with commas) rather than in list form. ➤ There is a "Find Crosscanon" section, where you can talk about a character you play and and desired crosscanon for that character. Please make sure this is not too generalized a search, because just wanting general crosscanon can be accomplished with the other sections of the meme. This is for specific characters or character types you're looking for. In the subject, please list the "Looking for [canon you're looking for]" rather than your character's canon. If looking for a character type, list the character type in as few words as possible. Do not make the subject huge or I'll screen your comment. For the actual text of the ad you must use the "Find Crosscanon" form provided at the bottom of this post so that these ads don't get huge. This section is only for game crosscanon as in the psl section people can list their preferences. ➤ Examples of crosscanon you can search for: You play The Flash from DC Comics and your dream CR is fellow speedster Quicksilver from Marvel. Or you might play a witch and want cr with other witches in general. Or maybe you play a good character messed up by evil parents and want to play against a villain character you know has evil parents, because you know it'd lead to some interesting negative CR. ➤ There is a "Pairings You Want to Play" section, where you can ask for castmates or crosscanon you'd like to ship with. Please format this with "[YOUR CANON] seeking [CASTMATE/OTHER CANON (if crosscanon)/SEE DESCRIPTION (if a general character type)]. For the actual text of the ad you must use the "Pairings You Want to Play" form provided at the bottom of this post so that these ads don't get huge. Alongside castmates and crosscanon, you can choose to ask for OCs or general character types as well. Try not to get too wordy and please don't outline entire scenarios. ➤ ABSOLUTELY NO obnoxious coding, with the same rules as the Game Ads Section above. ➤ If you're recommending a game to someone, try to match your suggestion to their needs. It's okay if part of your game rec is copy-pasted (such as what the game's about), but at least some part of the rec must be personalized to their ad. Try not to recommend the same game to every single ad, either. Ad spam that isn't individualized in some way will also be frozen or screened. Keep in mind this needs to be more specific than "this game has easy AC like you're asking for but meets none of your other requirements." Make sure you're advertising games that might click with that specific character, where a few elements fit what they're looking for. You should be thinking about the story reasons of how the character might click with the game. IN GENERAL: ➤ Don't be a dick. This isn't one of the anoncomms, so any snide comments or unnecessary commentary on the RP plans of others will be frozen or screened. ➤ All mod responses regardless of whether they're rule breaks, correction requests (like someone posting in the wrong section), or thwapping someone for spamming copy-paste ads, have always been and will almost universally be public. If someone sends a PM and the conversation gets combative, this will also be made public and posted to the comments of the mod contact page. This is for the sake of transparency so people can judge the emp mod's communications for fairness themselves. There are times where the player's post may be screened (such as if they posted to the wrong section) but the mod's response will be left unscreened. ➤ Players may sometimes be allowed more than one strike for copy-paste ads since this is often just enthusiasm behind it, but game mods should know better. They'll get one warning for copy-paste ads, and if they spam anymore copy-paste ads after the warning, they'll be banned from the meme. ➤ The meme is for fiction-based RP only (with the only exception being involvement of fictionalized historical figures or historical settings.) Celeb or RPF RP advertising, whether for games or players, is not allowed. MOD CONTACT: If there's trouble, tell me HERE, please! RESOURCES: dwrpmasterlist - A regularly updated basic list of public DWRP games.pslfinder - an alternate psl meme that runs every 2 weeks between emp memesGAME/AD LINKS: General Game/Dressing Room Ads Link - New Games - Small Games - Medium/Large Games - Museboxes/Memes/Dressing Rooms/Misc. - Game Questions - Game Start Discussions/Questions PSL Offerings Find a Castmate Find Crosscanon Pairings You Want to Play Latest Page Textboxes |
| PSL Ads (Optional): |
Character Ads (Optional): |
| Find a Castmate (Required): |
Find Crosscanon (Required): |
| Pairings you want to play (Required): |
| ➤ Important note: IP logging has turned on due to multiple instances past and present of problem players trying to return to the dwrp community via emp after being banned other places, so I'll be IP logging from now on, and will compare notes with the rpa and wg mods (as well as game mods) where appropriate if it seems like someone that has been mass banned. I will not pay attention to IPs otherwise. I don't care what people like playing or who's who. So please feel comfortable to keep doing your thing, anon or otherwise. The knowledge will only be used for really egregious problem cases. |
Tumblr meta on 90s TV
Sep. 13th, 2025 10:19 pmsholioI fell down a rabbit hole this evening reading the comment reblogs on this Tumblr post on 90s TV. I ended up deciding to copy some of them here to save them from the inevitable linkrot and post decay.
https://www.tumblr.com/laylainalaska/794609119262900224
Original post:
I don't agree with every single point in every reblog. I also think there's quite a bit of TV now that still does most or all of this, though usually it's the dramas and procedurals rather than scifi, and a lot that's not great about 90s and earlier TV. But there is also a lot of food for thought in here, so I just threw a bunch of the comments into this post to mull over.
The asterisks separate out each different reblog; basically each is its own separate comment, generally in dialogue with the original post rather than each other.
Thoughts are welcome!
( Under the cut )
https://www.tumblr.com/laylainalaska/794609119262900224
Original post:
I don't know what those '90s sci Fi TV writers were putting in their shows but I wish they'd start doing it again
#they de-escalated the stakes every once in a while so that you can see what the characters are like when they're not under duress
#they made statements about the world through allegory
#they invested in depicting developing friendships and relationships between their characters
#they assumed that their audience was paying attention to the screen and wanted to be there
#and that their audience has enough intelligence to follow narrative clues and even sometimes to predict the ending
#dont even get me started on this i will go ALL DAY
I don't agree with every single point in every reblog. I also think there's quite a bit of TV now that still does most or all of this, though usually it's the dramas and procedurals rather than scifi, and a lot that's not great about 90s and earlier TV. But there is also a lot of food for thought in here, so I just threw a bunch of the comments into this post to mull over.
The asterisks separate out each different reblog; basically each is its own separate comment, generally in dialogue with the original post rather than each other.
Thoughts are welcome!
( Under the cut )
September is Suicide Prevention Month
Sep. 14th, 2025 12:20 ampost_secret_feedTo: “frank” <frank@postsecret.com>
Subject: Re: PostSecret Help
I’d always wanted to write to you but never thought it’d be under such circumstances, ugh sorry. I’m secretly planning my death.
I realised I have depression this March. Since then I began taking some meds, and I was getting better this week. 2 nights ago, I went to a friend’s to pick up my earring I dropped the other night (he invited some friends to come over). I only had 1 drink then I got so drunk somehow. He fucked me. It hurt so much and I kept bleeding for a day. I feel extremely shame on myself since that night. I can’t even face myself, and the only thing I am thinking is to restart my life.
I couldn’t go to school today. I can’t function (a bit like my depression). I had a mental breakdown in the bathroom while taking a shower. I can’t tell my therapist (also a teacher and colleague of my mom’s from my primary school). I know it’s wrong so I went to the medical centre to find another therapist. But the registration takes a week to complete. I feel desperate. The memory keeps playing in my head.
What a fucken life!!
Regards,
-Z
~~~
From: “frank” <frank@postsecret.com>
Subject: Re: PostSecret Help
Hi Z-
This is one of the most difficult emails I have ever read. I can understand why you are in pain right now. I’m sorry that is is overwhelming right now. But I believe the fact that you took the time to share this with me indicates that part of you still wants to live.
Know this, at this exact moment, you are not alone with your heavy and suffocating feelings. I get postcards with confessions similar to yours every week, especially from young people who have suffered a traumatic experience through no fault of their own. It might not feel like it, but pain can dissipate, no matter how much it lies and tries to convince you otherwise. If your pain eventually lessened would you still want to kill yourself? Some of the secrets I receive say, I don’t want to die, I just want to pain to stop. I also get postcards from people who have found their way through the pain. They don’t say everything is great and life is painless now, but they are surprised that things can get better with time, medication, God, love, friends, music, therapy, family, a beloved pet, meditation, even endurance exercise (that’s what worked for me).
I hunted through the PostSecret archive to find two stories of people who have secrets related to the story you shared with me. Not everyone finds their way to survival and healing like these two courageous women, but it is possible. Over time there is a chance you will overcome. Give that chance time to happen, you owe it to that girl you were, and your future self. I hope that future self will mail me a postcard like one of these someday.
Maybe your depression is how you are expressing the righteous anger you must feel toward your attacker. Don’t let that rapist win. You are more important than your assailant. That is why I stopped everything I was doing to write you this message.
You wrote that your are having trouble finding a therapist. I totally believe you. Last night, I was speaking at a large university and a student told me she was waiting over a month for counseling. Another student said they were told by the campus counselor to find help off-campus. That sucks. It’s not fair, it happens to a lot of young people and it’s 100% not your fault. Here is a link to hundreds of crisis lines world-wide. Please use it and share it with others – in the future.
Here’s a link to a Harvard Study that found that nine out of ten people who attempt suicide and survive will not go on to die by suicide at a later date. This has been well-established in the suicidology literature and it’s a powerful fact to keep in mind. Nine out of ten people who felt just like you, desperate enough to kill themselves, if they were able to find their way through their worst night, got better and never made another attempt for the rest of their lives.
Can I ask you a question? Does anything still bring you joy in life? A pet, a sibling, a friend, a grandparent, a band, the beach, a book, Epic Universe, Othani in the pennant race, a forest walk, Taylor Swift’s next album?
I attached one last image to this email. It’s an picture of a young woman sending up a helium balloon of hope for a stranger who had mailed in a secret like yours. Because of one secret, over 60,000 strangers cared enough to create a “Please Don’t Jump” facebook page proving people do care and there is hope, even if your depression has convinced you otherwise – don’t believe it, depression and anxiety are liars.
A friend of mine – Kevin Hines – tried to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge to end his life. He is one of the ten or so people, from the thousands who have jumped off that bridge and died, to have survived. He travels the country sharing his inspiring story. It’s like his life was spared so that he can reveal the secret last thought of people who attempt suicide. He has shared his story with millions of people around the world. This is what he says, As soon as I let go of the cables and began to fall from the bridge, I realized I was making a mistake.
Be well,
-Frank
[After I shared the message above on facebook, I invited the PostSecret Community to, “share something you would have never experienced if you had completed suicide”. There were hundreds of heartfelt stories. Here are a handful. . . ]
• Today my son received a beam initiative scholarship and a bassoon lesson with Lecolion Washington (LW plays the basson in The Lion King). I am so glad I decided to walk through the tunnel. There is a light at the end and it’s beautiful.
• If I had killed myself almost 4 years ago, I would have never accepted myself as LGBT; I wouldn’t be as close with my parents; and I would have devastated my dog who adores me. Without me he would have probably been passed from owner to owner, not living the life of adventure I’ve given him.
• I wouldn’t have experienced finding the right mix of medication to help me understand how my life should be!
• The love of this good hearted man. Not too mention so many other things, like my current job where I get to help others.
• Camping with my sister and our kids. Waking up at 6am and watching the sun rise over the mist on the lake. I would have missed this and so much more.
• I would’ve missed the chance to be with someone who sends me messages like this.
• I never would have been able to help my sister get the help she needed if I gave up 2 years ago. My life isn’t perfect, but I am so thankful for how far I’ve come.
• I mean, come on, we’ve all got to vote in 2020! And I agree, there’s always something good to look forward to… even if you don’t know what it is, yet!
• I would’ve been gone before she arrived. Shes worth staying for.
• Becoming a midwife and being the one to witness and welcome hundreds of new lives into the world.
• In May of 2009 after my second combat tour I was found hanging from a tree branch. This photo was a month ago. Not a day goes by that I’m not happy, I know what could have been. Nothing, and I repeat nothing, is worth not being there for. I cherish every moment now because I know I chose to forfeit everyone of these and that I don’t deserve them. But I get them, and I will love every one of them.
• I never would have gotten into medical school and had the honor of putting on this white coat and helping others. I never attempted but thought about it every day for a very long time. Took me until well into my adulthood to realize that there are downs, and then eventually ups again and if you check out early, you never get to see what your ups may have been.
• I’ve still got too many people to piss off yet.
• This guy. Oh! And my husband.
• the northern lights
• Getting to ride again.
• Goodness . . . I’m sitting at the table trying not to sob as I read this, because I don’t want to have to explain it to the family . . . At 16 I contemplated it. The only thing that stopped me was I didn’t want my Mom to find me. If I would have went through with it, I wouldn’t have met the group of friends who got me started in allowing myself to show the goofy side only when I was with them, then at 30+ I wouldn’t have met the amazing people on f.b. who allowed me to be the silly, goofy, weird me, that most people in real life look at me funny when they see it because I’m always so serious. Thanks #PostSecret for making me emotional, but also challenging me to think of what I would have missed out on.
• Just because you haven’t found your reason to live yet, it doesn’t mean you never will.
The post September is Suicide Prevention Month appeared first on PostSecret.
Off The Table
Sep. 14th, 2025 12:05 ampost_secret_feedHi Frank –
I sent you this secret some time later in my college days. Then I sent you an update after a few years later as well – which is when I think my secret debuted on Sunday Secrets. I didn’t screenshot or save it. If you have a copy of that, that would be cool.
I wish I could say that the journey was as linear as youthful self once thought and that everything was rainbows and butterflies these days. Mental health seems to be more of journey than a destination. I did find a hella good therapist about four years ago who helped me realize that I was neurodivergent. What a difference that made on my perspective. We are slogging through some trauma work. The commitment to following through on this secret did take suicide off the table. The struggles have been many since then and the journey hasn’t been perfect. However, I’m still here and resilience has won the day. Thanks for giving people a place to launch things into the universe.
The post Off The Table appeared first on PostSecret.
On the edge and off the avenue
Sep. 13th, 2025 11:35 pmsovayI had not thought there were any meteor showers of consequence this month, but it seems that the swift pale streak between the telephone wires southwest of Cassiopeia belonged to the September Epsilon Perseids, so named despite their radiant in β Persei, the demon-star of Algol. I can hope it was not wildfire drift that accounted for the candle-tint of the half-moon, which was doing its autumnal trick of hanging like a lantern in the not yet leafless trees. The last of this summer's monarchs flew just before sunset, the twenty-second of her name.
Don't ask a question you don't want answered - Star Wars triple drabble
Sep. 13th, 2025 11:19 pmpetraDon't ask a question you don't want answered (300 words) by Petra
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Characters: Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker
Additional Tags: Triple Drabble, Mutual Pining
Summary:
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Characters: Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker
Additional Tags: Triple Drabble, Mutual Pining
Summary:
Padmé asks Anakin a question and gets a surprising answer.
Wrath of the Righteous is good but a new adventure path would be better
Sep. 14th, 2025 03:18 ambeccaelizabethIt is three in the morning and I still am not asleep
because
by the time I had built my character in Inevitable Excess
realised that way wasn't going to work
built her again
and one more time for luck
then rebuilt Daeran and Ember whose default builds aren't really workable
it was after midnight
and I still needed to rebuild Woljif and Ulbrig.
... and I got Woljif wrong by forgetting Selective Spell, so I cannot do selective Grease all everywhere, but aside from that...
by the time I had everyone built and the basic buffs on and the spell trays loaded
I figured I might as well go kill some stuff
and then it was now.
... and now I realised again that this build for the Knight Commander is a right mess also.
... I keep trying to do Mystic Theurge, remembering they didn't put the capstone in the computer game, remembering again the way the spells get Messy and Numerous to a degree that doesn't fit in the bars, and experiencing Regrets.
with Legend I could just take 20 levels in the two sorts of magic and leave Prestige Classes be.
but they sound cool if I could get the hang of them.
I feel strongly that sleep would have been a better use of about the last five hours.
because
by the time I had built my character in Inevitable Excess
realised that way wasn't going to work
built her again
and one more time for luck
then rebuilt Daeran and Ember whose default builds aren't really workable
it was after midnight
and I still needed to rebuild Woljif and Ulbrig.
... and I got Woljif wrong by forgetting Selective Spell, so I cannot do selective Grease all everywhere, but aside from that...
by the time I had everyone built and the basic buffs on and the spell trays loaded
I figured I might as well go kill some stuff
and then it was now.
... and now I realised again that this build for the Knight Commander is a right mess also.
... I keep trying to do Mystic Theurge, remembering they didn't put the capstone in the computer game, remembering again the way the spells get Messy and Numerous to a degree that doesn't fit in the bars, and experiencing Regrets.
with Legend I could just take 20 levels in the two sorts of magic and leave Prestige Classes be.
but they sound cool if I could get the hang of them.
I feel strongly that sleep would have been a better use of about the last five hours.
September is nearly half over...
Sep. 13th, 2025 06:26 pmsartoriasWe've packed what we can pack. The movers come Monday to take our library away. We will live out of boxes and suitcase for a week, then depart altogether while the floor peeps come in.
With library going away I've resorted more to TV, and I couldn't resist going back to watch Nirvana in Fire yet again. Between my last rewatch and this time, some team of actual humans (No AI) had gone through the, ah, somewhat problematical subtitles and cleaned up spelling, grammar, and meaning, clarifying a lot of small stuff that watchers who did not know Mandarin could only guess at.
It's just brilliant. Even though on this watch I see the problems with the end starting a bit sooner than I remembered, and I still believe that one more episode would have pulled together all the dangling bits and tightened up the emotional arcs, still the overall emotional velocity absolutely rams you straight through and beyond. For a couple of days I couldn't do anything but go back to look at scenes (some for like the twentieth time, or more). Not perfect, but even after ten years, for me it's the best television show ever made.
Well, back to your regularly schedule chaos.
With library going away I've resorted more to TV, and I couldn't resist going back to watch Nirvana in Fire yet again. Between my last rewatch and this time, some team of actual humans (No AI) had gone through the, ah, somewhat problematical subtitles and cleaned up spelling, grammar, and meaning, clarifying a lot of small stuff that watchers who did not know Mandarin could only guess at.
It's just brilliant. Even though on this watch I see the problems with the end starting a bit sooner than I remembered, and I still believe that one more episode would have pulled together all the dangling bits and tightened up the emotional arcs, still the overall emotional velocity absolutely rams you straight through and beyond. For a couple of days I couldn't do anything but go back to look at scenes (some for like the twentieth time, or more). Not perfect, but even after ten years, for me it's the best television show ever made.
Well, back to your regularly schedule chaos.
thunder's rolling down this track
Sep. 13th, 2025 07:40 pmmusesfoolA couple weeks ago, I finally realized I was never going to go to someone else to get my hair cut, so with some encouragement from my sister, this morning, I did an extensive detangling (both before and after washing) and then trimmed about 3" off the bottom myself. Is it even? Probably not, but it was in long layers, so I don't think it really matters. It will eventually even out as it grows and I trim it. Mostly what matters is that after 3 years, the old ends have been trimmed away. And now that I know I can do it, I will try to keep up with it on a more timely basis. At least, I don't think I'll let another 3 years go by. *wry*
*
The Mets did not get no-hit last night but they did lose, and then lost again today despite leading for 7.5 innings. *hands* There is something very wrong with this team, but who can say what? Sigh.
*
*
The Mets did not get no-hit last night but they did lose, and then lost again today despite leading for 7.5 innings. *hands* There is something very wrong with this team, but who can say what? Sigh.
*
