lokifan

Hi guys! I know I’ve been silent for MONTHS, which is crazy for me; it’s been lots of work, then lots of social stuff, then lots of erised fic-writing. But I wanted to post about this: this weekend my BFF Miss Godfrey got married. The wedding was beautiful and sparkly and full of joy, just like her. I was a bridesmaid and it was a great day :D

I spent my Friday rushing around between work and bridesmaid errands and things still didn’t really work, because I am a flail. The zip had broken on my dress, and the dry cleaner’s I got to iron it had lost the belt, and I forgot my bouquet and didn’t realise until I was at the B&B I and the bride & family were staying in - in Norwich, the city where we went to uni and the bride and groom met, two hours by train from London. ARGH. Tiny bit of a meltdown at 2a.m. that night, however much I reminded myself that it’s not possible to ruin a wedding unless you’re one of the people getting married.

But actually it was a really wonderful day.

I was up pretty early for elaborate haircare etc and breakfast with bride & family, and then at 11 the bridesmaids converged in the bride’s big B&B - with visits from Miss Godfrey’s lovely parents, and her brother - who is one of my favourite people - and his extremely lovely long-term girlfriend periodically. Her brother supports Norwich FC, and he wore a Norwich tie all day and Norwich Converse in green and yellow for the dancing.

The bridesmaids all got ready - dresses and make-up and jewellery and petticoats - together. Some of this was unplanned but Violet did Miss Godfrey’s hair (which looked AMAZING and super Roman in its elaborate plaits in an up-do, which she loves) and eye make-up; the Dark Lady did the rest of her make-up; I did the manicure, and hitherto-nicknameless Perkins provided the playlist and took some gorgeous photos. We listened to Christmas music and drank Bucks Fizz and had a beautiful time. Miss Godfrey’s vintage dress (photos to follow, I should think) was a slightly-slinky column covered in white sequins, with some red patterning near the base - somewhat Romanesque and very sparkly, which was perfect for her, and just the right amount of glam which she loves but is a bit put off by sometimes. She gave this startled cry of joy when she saw herself in it. It was amazing.

During all this is where my OH FUCK about things calmed down. That had been helped a lot by Violet’s morning reply to my panicked FB message from the night before, reminding me that we could safety-pin or sew the dress, and I could steam out the wrinkles left by the terrible dry cleaner’s with the shower, and generally being very calm. Then when we were all together the mother of the bride safety-pinned the dress on (and since the dress did actually fit, despite the zip having broken, it went a lot easier than I’d worried) with a million safety-pins and I had Chanel red lipstick and glowy white OPI nails and we were all laughing together and I began having a really good time.

The last thirty minutes were where Miss Godfrey’s stoicism and happiness broke down a bit, because she was scared we’d be late and she didn’t want to be “one of those women who takes ages getting ready” (she’s a feminist but also feels guilty about things a lot) and “had all these dreams where we’re late”. I had to take over disentangling her necklace’s chain because she was freaking out and would’ve broken it. Everything was fine! Which the bridesmaids knew it would be either way, but I’m still very glad for her sake that we weren’t late.

Beautiful traditional ceremony in Norwich Castle, with readings from Wendy Cope and John Cooper Clarke, and then we went to Pizza Express :D BEST wedding dinner, we all got to choose what we wanted a few weeks before and it was upstairs, surrounded by sparkly Christmas lights reflecting in the massive window through which you could see a church tower.

Some more photos, and OH GOD it was so cold. It’s been snowing heavily today. Yesterday was a tiny bit warmer, but the bridesmaids, even in our elbow-length-sleeved dresses and stoles, found it necessary to penguin-huddle between photos - first as a four, and then including our small fifth sister, the incredibly charming and confident six-year-old Emmy, niece of the groom :D

The reception was at the Fat Cat, a pub famous for its hundreds of beer options, and it involved lovely, hilarious speeches (bride, groom, and best man all being stand-ups), bunting and sparkles and delight, and an epic six-hour playlist curated by Ginger Nut (the groom) with input from Miss Godfrey, her brother, and me :D

It involved a combination of classic bangers (it was HILARIOUS watching millenials rush the dancefloor when Mr Brightside came on) and Eurovision (they put on Marry Me, most problematic of faves, for me <3) and obscure indie rock (This Year had a select group screaming along to it) and 2009 pop (when we all started uni - Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj) and Christmas songs (I made them put Feels Like Christmas on and omg there were tears, haha). It was so fun, and I danced like a madwoman, and Emmy the littlest bridesmaid (it’s short for Emmeline after Pankhurst) danced loads and adorably asked if she could have a tiny drink too when we did shots. The mother of the bride and the Dark Lady and I FREAKED OUT all at once when Pure Morning came on, and Ginger Nut pretended he’d put You’ve Got A Friend In Me on for Emmy’s sake. The last song on the playlist was Tim Minchin’s White Wine In The Sun and I cried.

There was a blank canvas and some coloured felt tips, and people were writing messages for them. Which I thought was a lovely idea, and in the last hour or so Violet, the Dark Lady and I filled in the gaps with little pictures and in my case different lines from the wedding vows from Slaves of the Mastery by William Nicholson, which is one of my favourite books and also one of Miss Godfrey’s favourite books, and something we talked about the first day we met. Also the wedding vows become this beautiful moment of community bonding as they face oppression (the entire community says them to each other at the emotional climax of the book, having successfully fought a slave revolt and now facing the future) which like, ~speaks to us. “Today begins my walk with you. Where you go, I go. Where you stay, I stay. When you sleep, I will sleep. When you rise, I will rise. I will pass my days within the sound of your voice, and my nights within the reach of your hand. And none shall come between us.”

(At Miss Godfrey’s hen do, I gave her my old copy of the book, with my name and congratulations and the date written in the front, and “‘Today begins my walk with you.’ If only we’d known that first day, eh? And none shall come between us.” Because I am a sentimental sod.)

The first dance was Happiness Writes White, which is a lovely romantic song (sample lyrics: When I consider what you mean to me / it’s everything) and very appropriate to the anxious couple who make each other happy (I’ve never been a confident man / I’ve been in the tall grass all my life / Until you came along; now there's one less thing wrong) and was briefly Their Song because it’s about how being happy destroys the songwriter’s creativity. They met through comedy at a point where Miss Godfrey’s stand-up set was about ‘man’ autocorrecting to ‘gin’ and ‘nun’ on her phone, and Ginger Nut’s was about being a nineteen-year-old virgin.

They were cute and singing to each other but also embarrassed while we all sat around the pub. They hadn’t wanted to use the real Our Song for the first dance, even though it’s truly them (Christmassy, dark and funny and sweet) and was playing the first time they kissed, because they didn’t think Ginger Nut’s parents would really ‘get’ Fairytale of New York :P When it came on, hours later, it ended up being much more like an actual ‘wedding dance’ experience really: a bunch of us in a circle with our arms round each other roaring out you scumbug, you maggot… and the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day, while bride and groom danced in the middle and kissed. I’m pretty sure Ginger Nut was crying when he got to I built my dreams around you. ♥

This morning I had breakfast with them at the B&B. Then Ginger Nut, Miss Godfrey, and Miss Godfrey’s family all headed off to meet Ginger Nut’s family and I headed home. The rain washed off my eye make-up and had my hair sodden in five minutes flat, and I dragged my suitcase home through heavy snow. But the snowy fields were a beautiful view on the train back to London, and I had a nap and ate crisps without worrying about the bridesmaid dress, and my lovely friends are married and happy. So I’ve had a good weekend.