25 first lines meme
Sep. 2nd, 2008 03:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lokifanGacked from - well, most of you. With bonus pontification!
1. Draco’s reaction to Ron and Hermione was to hide upstairs, so Harry was pleasantly surprised to see him. – Bedtime
Not horrible – it sets the scene quickly, and sets it up for the punchline of how Draco’s about to get rid of them. But it’s really, really bland. Shame on me.
2. He’d asked her to marry him: a statement, a wish, a declaration. – Choose Life
I like this one. Rule of three gives it impact.
3. “Can’t it be over? Just cos I say so?” – Dominatrix
A quote from the canon. Depends on how you like that sort of thing; I think it works for a character study drabble.
4. Dawn wished it was last year; everyone had been better. – Out Of Mind
I remember battling with this first line! But I like ‘everyone had been better’ instead of ‘everything’.
5. Heaven had been golden-still; there had been no need for the rush of movement and the final thrust that was being the Slayer. – Quiet Night, Holy Night
I like ‘golden-still’ and the definition of Slayer, which harks back to a canon definiton: “I live in the action of death.” But it’s too long. That should have been a full stop, not a semi-colon.
6. He’d always dreamed of the rush; the suicidal fever-dream of being a vampire taking a Slayer. – Quickies
More punctuation regrets! The semi-colon would’ve worked better as a colon. My love for that particular punctuation mark was perhaps sadly misplaced! Still, it’s a first line that would make me read on.
7. “I’ve got a gift for you.” – Golden Snitch
Short, sweet, and dialogue. Go me.
8. Spike woke sticky and sore and alone, in Wolfram-and-bloody-Hart – with an enormous smile on his face. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so perfectly happy. – Perfectly Disastrous
Yay for contrasts and surprises in first lines! I like this.
9. Harry had always known Draco had a sweet tooth, though his Hogwarts memories of it were mostly confined to jealous stares at yet another of Draco’s packages from his mother. – Lollipops
Oh dear. One where the length of the sentence really doesn’t work for it. Can I plead drabble?
10. His eyes stay on the coins on his bedside table while Harry fucks him in his plush bed, hand splayed against the mahogany headboard. Harry's palm leaves sweat on the Latin motto beneath the Malfoy crest: aurum potentas est. – Aurum Potentas Est
Frayach just left a comment on this fic saying she loved the first lines. That’s all I’m saying. :d
11. As a teenager, Tara had worn a lot of purple. Not true purple, of course; she had a lilac skirt, and a lavender jumper. – Purple
Blah. Examples of the purple instead of doing it all-tell style is the only redeeming feature.
12. “So, are you looking forward to seeing Potter today?” – Slow and Sweet
Dialogue, makes my slasher audience want to read on, and not too long. I like doing long first lines sometimes, but this works.
13. Sunday morning and Draco finally stumbled back into the Slytherin common room, after being out all night on his ‘date’ with Potter. – Tongue Thing
Now this is a long line that works; none of the poetic prose I enjoy writing sometimes, but still a serviceable scene-setting, makes-you-curious first line.
14. He wakes up, and turns to see Harry lying beside him, every morning. – Consequences
I like the present tense in that one, and the fact the ‘every morning’ finishes it off; that drabble is an angsty little thing about life going on after the big romantic gesture. I’m not sure about this one though.
15. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. Honest. – Now That You’re Helpless
My favourite. No proper names, which makes it more interesting as a first line (who are these people?) and starts off the theme of that fic: people in pain, trying to pass it on.
16. Draco,
Sorry, I can’t meet you later. – Sneezing and Silly
Starting with a letter is something I like, although that’s partly because I have such a kink for epistolary stories.
17. The King’s Head was Harry’s favourite pub because it was ordinary. – Doing My Duty
Yes. Characterisation, setting, and most of all not horribly boring. I can remember trying to start this fic in a non-dull way; the other candidate was ‘stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A man walks into a bar... and meets a vampire.’ I still like that one, but it would’ve made the narrative voice a character in its own right. I really love that when it’s done right but it wouldn’t have worked for that fic.
18. Green was always his favourite colour: the poison-green of the house crest, or the jade of furious Gryffindor eyes. – Green
I don’t know. I quite like it, but I know that’s partly because I was indulging myself with poetic prose!
19. Ron decided that forgiving Draco Malfoy for his sins was the most infuriating thing Hermione had ever done in their seven infuriating years of friendship. – Unforgivable
The phrase ‘forgiving (Draco Malfoy) for his sins’ is suitably Biblical and theme-sparking. But I’m not super-pleased with this one.
20. It was clear that Hermione’s meteoric rise would soon make her Minister of Magic. – A Simple Solution
Blah. I’m pleading drabble because the beginning was explaining why Ron was having the babies – my way of getting round an ‘mpreg’ prompt at a Harry/Draco drabble comm! Not great.
21. Harry loved making Draco blush. – A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Short, and instantly appeals to fans of a particular variety of Jennavere-ish top!Harry and bottom!Draco.
22. Harry had always known Scorpius Malfoy would be a bad lot. – A Bad Influence
A good first line for provoking curiosity, and outraged-father!Harry always makes me laugh.
23. Harry sighed, fidgeting; he’d been promised a blowjob for accompanying Draco shopping, but this hot Saturday afternoon was meant for Quidditch. – Kinky Blowjob
Oh dear. Maybe that semi-colon should’ve been a punctuation mark.
24. Giles put two rashers in the frying pan and wondered whether to have mushroom with his bacon and eggs. Living in California had taught him that one’s breakfast should be made up of macrobiotic yogurt and fruit, and perhaps one slice of wholemeal bread. – Respect Your Elders
I like this. Giles having a fry-up despite Californian mores is very him, and fits the truculent side he shows in this fic. Besides, I had to explain away the ‘spatula’ that was the prompt!
25. “It has been said that ‘change will do you good’,” McGonagall began, standing under the chandelier in the Great Hall with the candlelight setting her dark hair to gleaming, and hiding the grey strands that showed the strain of the last year. – The More Things Change
Um. I like it, but I can also see why personal taste could make people hate it. It’s a clumsy use of something I like doing, having long first lines with a revealing description of the character. The rhythm is good though.
1. Draco’s reaction to Ron and Hermione was to hide upstairs, so Harry was pleasantly surprised to see him. – Bedtime
Not horrible – it sets the scene quickly, and sets it up for the punchline of how Draco’s about to get rid of them. But it’s really, really bland. Shame on me.
2. He’d asked her to marry him: a statement, a wish, a declaration. – Choose Life
I like this one. Rule of three gives it impact.
3. “Can’t it be over? Just cos I say so?” – Dominatrix
A quote from the canon. Depends on how you like that sort of thing; I think it works for a character study drabble.
4. Dawn wished it was last year; everyone had been better. – Out Of Mind
I remember battling with this first line! But I like ‘everyone had been better’ instead of ‘everything’.
5. Heaven had been golden-still; there had been no need for the rush of movement and the final thrust that was being the Slayer. – Quiet Night, Holy Night
I like ‘golden-still’ and the definition of Slayer, which harks back to a canon definiton: “I live in the action of death.” But it’s too long. That should have been a full stop, not a semi-colon.
6. He’d always dreamed of the rush; the suicidal fever-dream of being a vampire taking a Slayer. – Quickies
More punctuation regrets! The semi-colon would’ve worked better as a colon. My love for that particular punctuation mark was perhaps sadly misplaced! Still, it’s a first line that would make me read on.
7. “I’ve got a gift for you.” – Golden Snitch
Short, sweet, and dialogue. Go me.
8. Spike woke sticky and sore and alone, in Wolfram-and-bloody-Hart – with an enormous smile on his face. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so perfectly happy. – Perfectly Disastrous
Yay for contrasts and surprises in first lines! I like this.
9. Harry had always known Draco had a sweet tooth, though his Hogwarts memories of it were mostly confined to jealous stares at yet another of Draco’s packages from his mother. – Lollipops
Oh dear. One where the length of the sentence really doesn’t work for it. Can I plead drabble?
10. His eyes stay on the coins on his bedside table while Harry fucks him in his plush bed, hand splayed against the mahogany headboard. Harry's palm leaves sweat on the Latin motto beneath the Malfoy crest: aurum potentas est. – Aurum Potentas Est
Frayach just left a comment on this fic saying she loved the first lines. That’s all I’m saying. :d
11. As a teenager, Tara had worn a lot of purple. Not true purple, of course; she had a lilac skirt, and a lavender jumper. – Purple
Blah. Examples of the purple instead of doing it all-tell style is the only redeeming feature.
12. “So, are you looking forward to seeing Potter today?” – Slow and Sweet
Dialogue, makes my slasher audience want to read on, and not too long. I like doing long first lines sometimes, but this works.
13. Sunday morning and Draco finally stumbled back into the Slytherin common room, after being out all night on his ‘date’ with Potter. – Tongue Thing
Now this is a long line that works; none of the poetic prose I enjoy writing sometimes, but still a serviceable scene-setting, makes-you-curious first line.
14. He wakes up, and turns to see Harry lying beside him, every morning. – Consequences
I like the present tense in that one, and the fact the ‘every morning’ finishes it off; that drabble is an angsty little thing about life going on after the big romantic gesture. I’m not sure about this one though.
15. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. Honest. – Now That You’re Helpless
My favourite. No proper names, which makes it more interesting as a first line (who are these people?) and starts off the theme of that fic: people in pain, trying to pass it on.
16. Draco,
Sorry, I can’t meet you later. – Sneezing and Silly
Starting with a letter is something I like, although that’s partly because I have such a kink for epistolary stories.
17. The King’s Head was Harry’s favourite pub because it was ordinary. – Doing My Duty
Yes. Characterisation, setting, and most of all not horribly boring. I can remember trying to start this fic in a non-dull way; the other candidate was ‘stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A man walks into a bar... and meets a vampire.’ I still like that one, but it would’ve made the narrative voice a character in its own right. I really love that when it’s done right but it wouldn’t have worked for that fic.
18. Green was always his favourite colour: the poison-green of the house crest, or the jade of furious Gryffindor eyes. – Green
I don’t know. I quite like it, but I know that’s partly because I was indulging myself with poetic prose!
19. Ron decided that forgiving Draco Malfoy for his sins was the most infuriating thing Hermione had ever done in their seven infuriating years of friendship. – Unforgivable
The phrase ‘forgiving (Draco Malfoy) for his sins’ is suitably Biblical and theme-sparking. But I’m not super-pleased with this one.
20. It was clear that Hermione’s meteoric rise would soon make her Minister of Magic. – A Simple Solution
Blah. I’m pleading drabble because the beginning was explaining why Ron was having the babies – my way of getting round an ‘mpreg’ prompt at a Harry/Draco drabble comm! Not great.
21. Harry loved making Draco blush. – A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Short, and instantly appeals to fans of a particular variety of Jennavere-ish top!Harry and bottom!Draco.
22. Harry had always known Scorpius Malfoy would be a bad lot. – A Bad Influence
A good first line for provoking curiosity, and outraged-father!Harry always makes me laugh.
23. Harry sighed, fidgeting; he’d been promised a blowjob for accompanying Draco shopping, but this hot Saturday afternoon was meant for Quidditch. – Kinky Blowjob
Oh dear. Maybe that semi-colon should’ve been a punctuation mark.
24. Giles put two rashers in the frying pan and wondered whether to have mushroom with his bacon and eggs. Living in California had taught him that one’s breakfast should be made up of macrobiotic yogurt and fruit, and perhaps one slice of wholemeal bread. – Respect Your Elders
I like this. Giles having a fry-up despite Californian mores is very him, and fits the truculent side he shows in this fic. Besides, I had to explain away the ‘spatula’ that was the prompt!
25. “It has been said that ‘change will do you good’,” McGonagall began, standing under the chandelier in the Great Hall with the candlelight setting her dark hair to gleaming, and hiding the grey strands that showed the strain of the last year. – The More Things Change
Um. I like it, but I can also see why personal taste could make people hate it. It’s a clumsy use of something I like doing, having long first lines with a revealing description of the character. The rhythm is good though.
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 11:23 am (UTC)10, because it says so much about the situation with so few words and still creates a vivid sensual picture and 18, well, for the same reasons, really. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-03 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-13 08:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 10:16 am (UTC)Um. While my lateness replying shows my making-time-for-fandom fail, you WILL GET YOUR FIC.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 10:01 pm (UTC)And don't worry, I haven't made time for the H/D fandom in ages. I just have soooo much going on in my life... damn school.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-26 09:58 pm (UTC)And omigod I SO feel you. So much going on in my life, too! I miss fandom, though. I might do that post-every-day-in-November challenge to make myself pay attention. It'd make sure my old "write at least 100 words a day" resolution had a chance at happening, too.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-26 10:41 pm (UTC)