Harry/Draco haiku

[lokifan]

enchanted_jae just made a comm for Potter poetry: poetic_hp. I made the inaugural post! :d No fake-cuts, in honour of it being first post, but I'm still posting here.

Harry/Draco haiku

I like him angry;
He pounds me into the ground.
(Yes, I mean that way)

It’s deliberate.
It still works. I bite him – not
A good punishment.

~*~

Molly Weasley knows
All I did. But fucking him still
Makes her like me less.

Narcissa likes me –
I protect him. As for Lucius...
Let’s not discuss it.

~*~

I tried poetry –
‘I love you’ in person is hard.
But I tore it up.

He doesn’t say it.
I don’t care. Sometimes I do.
I think he can tell.

~*~

I got a tattoo.
‘Harry’. No regret. I put it
Over my other Mark.

He got a tattoo.
I’m shocked, but at least this one
Can be worn with pride.

Comments

[koishii-hime.livejournal.com]

*__* Ooh. I like how it's told from both sides too. <333

[lokifan]

:d Thanks! I didn't think of doing it from both sides until I started writing, but I liked that too.

[pushdragon.livejournal.com]

I read them as abstract moments. I loved them, especially the second last one.

Then I realised they were pairs and I loved them more.

Then I realised they were progressive and I loved them even more. Lovely, compelling work.

But I can't help wanting one more because I don't think Harry gets it yet.

[lokifan]

Lovely, compelling work.

Thanks so much! I really loved this comment. And the second last one's my favourite too.

I tried adding one more, because I think you're absolutely right. That became eleven more haiku per boy, so what I can only describe as a sequel in verse is now up!

[melusinahp.livejournal.com]

These are great. My favourite is the Narcissa and Lucius one.

[lokifan]

*grins* Narcissa and Lucius are awesome, aren't they?

[lavillanueva.livejournal.com]

You are a nerd and I love you madly.

I also love these, especially the way they're not sweet - they give hints of a rather messed-up relationship - and yet they still make my heart clench. Oh, those silly boys!

[lokifan]

OMG THAT ICON.

I love you too, even though you call me a nerd. It's only the truth! And yes, the boys are silly, and messed up. Still, check my newest post, should you want a happy ending.

[kuri-taichou.livejournal.com]

I'm usually not a big haiku fan (which is ironic considering how much I love other aspects of Japanese culture), but I really like the way you connected them all. And the first part is very sexy in a short amount of words. "I like him angry." That could work from either point of view...

[lokifan]

Thank you! I appreciate the comment even more since you're not a big haiku fan. Haiku!smut is awesome to write, though. And yep, I reckon both boys like the other angry. Draco pissing Harry off so he can get fucked roughly is my preferred version, though. :d

[kuri-taichou.livejournal.com]

You're welcome, and I wholeheartedly agree. ^_~

[et-tu-lj.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful! The progression is just right and I like how the alternating viewpoints don't become apparent until the end. Haikus are not often used so well. Great job!

[lokifan]

Thank you so much! I'm very flattered.