Snowflake Challenge: Day 13

Day 13

In your own space, write about a moment in fandom that meant a lot to you. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

A moment is very hard to choose! The Victory Ball at Diacon was full of gorgeous, shining moments: looking round at all these people having a blast, eating and dancing and laughing with my friends and knowing that we did it.

The better choice, though, might be Easter 2010. That’s when my grandmother died unexpectedly - well, as unexpectedly as any death that happens to someone in her late eighties. It was the Easter holidays and my flatmates had all gone home already. I hadn’t wanted to go home so quickly (issues with the family) but then she died. I was taking the train in a few days anyway and the train’s expensive at the last minute; it didn’t occur to me to ask for a lift.

So I spent a few days on my own, and what I mostly did was lie on the floor of my room with my laptop and read every fic from hp_getlucky as it was posted. The theme of “luck” meant that the fic was mostly happy - even the angstier stuff, like one where Draco gets addicted to Felix Felicis, would have a happy ending. It was exactly what I needed at the time, regularly posted & predictably happy fic. I don’t think I commented on any of it. It all seemed too fraught, and I couldn’t think of what to say. (I should try going back to it now, actually.) But despite the bit of guilt there, that makes it a more meaningful memory for me in a way. Usually I try to comment and participate and be part of the ecosystem that encourages fans to create and spend time here, and I think that’s important. But I didn’t do that this time and fandom was still there to give me exactly what I needed at the time I needed it - not in a personal way because people know me, but just because I was a reader who found it at the right moment. It felt like a gift.