lokifan

noeon posted about some things she's grateful for, things she wouldn't have had without fandom. And I commented there, but I'd like to post about it myself. Because really, there's so much, more than I can encompass here.

Without fandom,

1. Met the majority of my IRL friends. I am not even going to try and explain all the ways they've made my life better and the brilliant experiences I've had with them and how much I love them because it would quickly become a very soggy enterprise. But you guys understand, I'm sure.

2. Visited America.

3. Written a boy's POV. Or at least, every one of the dozens of stories I wrote between 6 and 16 was from a girl's perspective; it took writing slash to get me writing a boy's POV.

4. Learnt the amount I have about social justice issues. [I would have learnt most of it at uni anyway, but not all. And certainly I might not have learnt about trans* issues in time for being a Pride Welfare Officer for a Pride that lacked a trans* welfare person. Doesn't bear thinking about.]

5. Got to experience and experiment with kink in a very safe, trusting, totally hot way.

6. Shared my writing with an audience beyond some fellow undergrads.

7. Had a friend visit me here in Vietnam where I've been feeling very lonely and cut off.

8. Experimented with writing in various ways, not least writing sex. [Or rather, I would have, but it would have taken longer with worse results.]

9. Discovered so many books I've loved; Maledicte by Lane Robins being just one example.

10. Found out about cons and discovered author blogs and those networks and communities of writing.

11. Read and seen so much absolutely astonishing art. I have worried sometimes about the effect fandom's had on how much original fiction I read and whether I am limiting the richness of what I experience creatively. It might be true; I feel much happier about it now I'm reading books at something a little closer to my old rate. But really, I have seen and read so much utterly wonderful work that I never would have known about otherwise. It's been wonderful.

12. Been saved over and over again over the course of a month when I was homeless. My mum kicked me out, and although she lent me the money for a deposit so I could get a room later, she refused support (financial or logistical) so I could find somewhere to stay in the interim; the extent of her support was offering to let me leave my laptop, since it would probably get nicked at a shelter.

It was friends I met through fandom who spent that month giving me places to sleep, lending or giving me money, giving me food and kindness and a space to feel safe and giggle and talk. They fed me and watched TV with me and lent me comics and lounged around with me and found me beds and sofas to stay, and when everything was so stressful and scary and I didn't know what would happen they gave me happy, secure days and evenings when all I could do in return was break their butter dishes. It really was incredible. <333