Post-Beltane thoughts
Jul. 11th, 2015 05:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lokifanI am going to burble about my Beltane fic a little bit, because it was a massive project and I was being all SUPER SECRET but now I have thoughts.
First – omg, being in a truly anon fest is scary. I was kind of freaking out when my fic was posted – it took me at least a day to click to read people’s comments, and longer to make myself readravenna_c_tan's! (I texted a BFF and she was like DO IT DO IT and then I did it. Six hours later.) But then I was like – everyone is so nice! Wow! I wasn’t expecting a huge amount of response, because it's a massive Snaco fic full of kinky porn, but I got actual recs!! Plural! It actually sort of reminded me of why I fell so hard for Ron/Draco fandom initially – enough people who are super-enthusiastic about getting some proper fic for their pairing can be so incredible.
Also, more than one commenter was like, ‘WHO ARE YOU?’ and man, I was so tempted to be like ‘TIS I!’ hahaha. Like a musketeer pulling off a mask or whatever.
Secondly – SO MUCH PORN lmao. Like ridiculous amounts. I had to cut one as well!melusinahp was like, ‘no, you literally just had a sex scene, I am bored and need something to happen’ and she was 100% correct. (Particularly because like... every other scene was establishing or shifting their dynamic, moving things forward – at least I hope so! – and the cut sex scene existed only because I think sub!Draco topping Severus and being given lots of orders and having to beg to come is hot. BUT WHATEVER MEL WANTED IT TO BE ALL ‘SCENES HAVING A ~PLOT-RELATED PURPOSE AND ~MOVING THINGS ON’ IDEK.)
(I love you Mel.)
Thirdly – so I have this theory about how the best of the various art forms exploit, to the max, the particular strengths of whatever art form they are. Like, great novels use language and the fact that we can see the thoughts of the characters and that kind of thing to tell a specific story you couldn’t tell any other way. Films use visual symbols and music and video games use the sense of involvement/complicity and plays use physicality etc etc etc. Form and content are one, basically! And also this is why adaptations need to adapt, and a great story in one medium doesn’t necessarily work in another.
Okay so now I feel wildly pretentious because I’m moving from GREAT ART to my own fic, but basically I think fanfic works the same way. Much – maybe even most – of the best fanfic wouldn't work as original fiction, or at least would need incredible amounts of editing; it works and draws strength from the knowledge you have going in. (This is also why I make this scorn-noise whenever people make comparisons that are all about fanfic being derivative and less good and the best fanfic being stuff you can come to from outside the canon. Also, yes, AUs, but that's something different.)
Like, think of Marauders-era HP fic. So much relatively mediocre fic can shoot you in the heart using dramatic irony, and the best Marauders-era made me cry repeatedly using it. (Think of The Shoebox Project and the ‘photo’ of Sirius and Remus from their seventh year, and the caption: later burned, later rescued.)
Anyway. So my favourites of my own fic rest 100% on the canon. (I might expand on this later when I feel less embarrassed.) And I have zero perspective on whether Sparking Like The Perfect Match is any good, because I wrote the bulk of it in six weeks in a mad panic, but it is built into the canon. And I really, really enjoyed writing what felt like this wee subplot of a grand romance.
Like, one of the great things about Draco for fanfic is that he’s central but not really important. In HBP he becomes suddenly vital but otherwise he’s tied into all these big plots and important characters without being terribly crucial himself – at least post-GoF, once Harry has grown up and Draco-as-schoolboy-nemesis is no longer a big thing.
And that made writing DH-era!Draco super fun. Like, having Ginny and Neville pass him, in the middle of their central role. (In my head, btw, Snape's “choose someone to trust and then do anything for them” speech is aimed at the DA.) Having Draco be drawn into Snape’s goings-on, where Snape is obviously so important, but Draco is... not, not really. I liked feeling the edges of this epic stuff going on while Draco keeps his head down and tries to keep everyone alive and spends the grand battle mostly unconscious or hiding.
Although it was sometimes very frustrating, because Draco is not only a subplot, he is also actively ignoring what’s happening. Like, he’s falling in love with Severus and needs him for the vital goal of keeping Draco’s parents safe, but he also hates Voldemort and doesn’t want to help him. The fact that this is all (as far as he knows) in aid of Voldemort, that Draco’s falling for the biggest Death Eater of them all... it’s causing some massive cognitive dissonance and Draco 1000% doesn't want to know what’s happening.
Between that and Severus’ spy abilities... man. I have so many thoughts about Severus’ internal stuff during the fic that Draco has no idea about. It’s the biggest reason I decided to keep Severus alive, because the canon thing of making Harry find out the truth about Severus and never have a conversation about it makes me howl with frustration. And like, to some degree I think it’s a great tragic end to Severus' whole close-but-no-cigar life but I also had zero interest in replicating that dynamic.
Fourthly – focussing on Draco’s relationships with Crabbe and Goyle was so satisfying, omg. It honestly drives me mad that fandom so often ignores them. Pansy and Blaise are sexier and more intelligent but Crabbe and Goyle were Draco’s best friends. There is zero ambiguity in canon about that until DH, and even then – I think Vince turning on Draco in the RoR is a last-straw thing (otherwise he wouldn’t have gone there with Draco) and certainly not evidence he didn’t care about Draco.
PS stop writing eighth-year Draco who never thinks about or mentions his best friend who died recently. Come on.
But yeah. That focus – and differentiating them – was fun. Also it makes me deeply sad for both of them that after so many years of friendship, of Crabbe following Draco’s lead and defending him and helping him even when Draco wouldn't explain – that the last thing that happened between them before Crabbe died was that betrayal. So being the sap I am, it was nice to sneak in a fix-it.
Fifthly – man, the McGonagall/Draco scene was difficult – because she’s right except she doesn’t know everything, but then neither does Draco – but so fun. The fic is somewhat claustrophobic – it’s just a couple of weeks, and Draco is withdrawing and withdrawn from in almost all his relationships – but I didn’t want it to be just Draco-and-Severus throughout. And McGonagall – I suspect she finds Draco immensely frustrating throughout his Hogwarts career, because he’s bright and has leadership qualities and has the capacity for empathy, but he’s also not willing to work unless he has to and follows the bigoted party line. After Dumbledore’s death... she must have been so furious. But she’s also a teacher, and old enough to recognise Draco's youth and vulnerability in a way Draco himself can’t. It was just really satisfying to write, especially because it’s the kind of thing that should happen in a lot of fics but doesn't, because the character who would involve themselves is outside the scope of the author's interest. I'm as guilty of this as anyone, generally :)
Sixthly – it’s pretty crazy to me that I wrote my longest fic so far in my NINTH YEAR in this fandom. I didn't know I could still write that fast. I wrote it mostly in order, which is unusual for me; I wonder if that was related to the speed, and if it's cause or effect. Ie, if I wrote it in order because I was rushing to finish, or if I write more quickly when I do it in order. I think probably a mix.
ANYWAY. YEAH. Phew.
First – omg, being in a truly anon fest is scary. I was kind of freaking out when my fic was posted – it took me at least a day to click to read people’s comments, and longer to make myself read
ravenna_c_tan's! (I texted a BFF and she was like DO IT DO IT and then I did it. Six hours later.) But then I was like – everyone is so nice! Wow! I wasn’t expecting a huge amount of response, because it's a massive Snaco fic full of kinky porn, but I got actual recs!! Plural! It actually sort of reminded me of why I fell so hard for Ron/Draco fandom initially – enough people who are super-enthusiastic about getting some proper fic for their pairing can be so incredible.Also, more than one commenter was like, ‘WHO ARE YOU?’ and man, I was so tempted to be like ‘TIS I!’ hahaha. Like a musketeer pulling off a mask or whatever.
Secondly – SO MUCH PORN lmao. Like ridiculous amounts. I had to cut one as well!
melusinahp was like, ‘no, you literally just had a sex scene, I am bored and need something to happen’ and she was 100% correct. (Particularly because like... every other scene was establishing or shifting their dynamic, moving things forward – at least I hope so! – and the cut sex scene existed only because I think sub!Draco topping Severus and being given lots of orders and having to beg to come is hot. BUT WHATEVER MEL WANTED IT TO BE ALL ‘SCENES HAVING A ~PLOT-RELATED PURPOSE AND ~MOVING THINGS ON’ IDEK.)(I love you Mel.)
Thirdly – so I have this theory about how the best of the various art forms exploit, to the max, the particular strengths of whatever art form they are. Like, great novels use language and the fact that we can see the thoughts of the characters and that kind of thing to tell a specific story you couldn’t tell any other way. Films use visual symbols and music and video games use the sense of involvement/complicity and plays use physicality etc etc etc. Form and content are one, basically! And also this is why adaptations need to adapt, and a great story in one medium doesn’t necessarily work in another.
Okay so now I feel wildly pretentious because I’m moving from GREAT ART to my own fic, but basically I think fanfic works the same way. Much – maybe even most – of the best fanfic wouldn't work as original fiction, or at least would need incredible amounts of editing; it works and draws strength from the knowledge you have going in. (This is also why I make this scorn-noise whenever people make comparisons that are all about fanfic being derivative and less good and the best fanfic being stuff you can come to from outside the canon. Also, yes, AUs, but that's something different.)
Like, think of Marauders-era HP fic. So much relatively mediocre fic can shoot you in the heart using dramatic irony, and the best Marauders-era made me cry repeatedly using it. (Think of The Shoebox Project and the ‘photo’ of Sirius and Remus from their seventh year, and the caption: later burned, later rescued.)
Anyway. So my favourites of my own fic rest 100% on the canon. (I might expand on this later when I feel less embarrassed.) And I have zero perspective on whether Sparking Like The Perfect Match is any good, because I wrote the bulk of it in six weeks in a mad panic, but it is built into the canon. And I really, really enjoyed writing what felt like this wee subplot of a grand romance.
Like, one of the great things about Draco for fanfic is that he’s central but not really important. In HBP he becomes suddenly vital but otherwise he’s tied into all these big plots and important characters without being terribly crucial himself – at least post-GoF, once Harry has grown up and Draco-as-schoolboy-nemesis is no longer a big thing.
And that made writing DH-era!Draco super fun. Like, having Ginny and Neville pass him, in the middle of their central role. (In my head, btw, Snape's “choose someone to trust and then do anything for them” speech is aimed at the DA.) Having Draco be drawn into Snape’s goings-on, where Snape is obviously so important, but Draco is... not, not really. I liked feeling the edges of this epic stuff going on while Draco keeps his head down and tries to keep everyone alive and spends the grand battle mostly unconscious or hiding.
Although it was sometimes very frustrating, because Draco is not only a subplot, he is also actively ignoring what’s happening. Like, he’s falling in love with Severus and needs him for the vital goal of keeping Draco’s parents safe, but he also hates Voldemort and doesn’t want to help him. The fact that this is all (as far as he knows) in aid of Voldemort, that Draco’s falling for the biggest Death Eater of them all... it’s causing some massive cognitive dissonance and Draco 1000% doesn't want to know what’s happening.
Between that and Severus’ spy abilities... man. I have so many thoughts about Severus’ internal stuff during the fic that Draco has no idea about. It’s the biggest reason I decided to keep Severus alive, because the canon thing of making Harry find out the truth about Severus and never have a conversation about it makes me howl with frustration. And like, to some degree I think it’s a great tragic end to Severus' whole close-but-no-cigar life but I also had zero interest in replicating that dynamic.
Fourthly – focussing on Draco’s relationships with Crabbe and Goyle was so satisfying, omg. It honestly drives me mad that fandom so often ignores them. Pansy and Blaise are sexier and more intelligent but Crabbe and Goyle were Draco’s best friends. There is zero ambiguity in canon about that until DH, and even then – I think Vince turning on Draco in the RoR is a last-straw thing (otherwise he wouldn’t have gone there with Draco) and certainly not evidence he didn’t care about Draco.
PS stop writing eighth-year Draco who never thinks about or mentions his best friend who died recently. Come on.
But yeah. That focus – and differentiating them – was fun. Also it makes me deeply sad for both of them that after so many years of friendship, of Crabbe following Draco’s lead and defending him and helping him even when Draco wouldn't explain – that the last thing that happened between them before Crabbe died was that betrayal. So being the sap I am, it was nice to sneak in a fix-it.
Fifthly – man, the McGonagall/Draco scene was difficult – because she’s right except she doesn’t know everything, but then neither does Draco – but so fun. The fic is somewhat claustrophobic – it’s just a couple of weeks, and Draco is withdrawing and withdrawn from in almost all his relationships – but I didn’t want it to be just Draco-and-Severus throughout. And McGonagall – I suspect she finds Draco immensely frustrating throughout his Hogwarts career, because he’s bright and has leadership qualities and has the capacity for empathy, but he’s also not willing to work unless he has to and follows the bigoted party line. After Dumbledore’s death... she must have been so furious. But she’s also a teacher, and old enough to recognise Draco's youth and vulnerability in a way Draco himself can’t. It was just really satisfying to write, especially because it’s the kind of thing that should happen in a lot of fics but doesn't, because the character who would involve themselves is outside the scope of the author's interest. I'm as guilty of this as anyone, generally :)
Sixthly – it’s pretty crazy to me that I wrote my longest fic so far in my NINTH YEAR in this fandom. I didn't know I could still write that fast. I wrote it mostly in order, which is unusual for me; I wonder if that was related to the speed, and if it's cause or effect. Ie, if I wrote it in order because I was rushing to finish, or if I write more quickly when I do it in order. I think probably a mix.
ANYWAY. YEAH. Phew.