What I Did This Weekend...
Sep. 15th, 2008 07:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lokifan...Is a famed exercise for primary school teachers in need of a break. And now I'm playing it, because instead of writing or reading, I spent this weekend at a wedding, and the adoptive grandparents' place.
The wedding was much more interesting.
On the train to it, there was a bunch of boys, probably around twelve. One was doing a party trick with his strawberry laces, and taught the others to do it.
BOY: So you’ve just got to swallow the whole thing without choking! Nah, you’re just keeping it in the back of your throat – you’ve gotta swallow it, and then you can pull the whole thing out.
BOY WITH BIKE: Oi, do it again! I wanna watch.
BOYS: *learn trick*
LOKIFAN: I hope to God some of them are gay. A destroyed gag reflex is a terrible thing to waste.
In the church, I played my usual wedding game, in which hats are rated on basis of size, colour, and added features. The winner was a massive magenta creation with a fascinator the size of Wales.
FATHER DAVID: Hello! Do you remember me? I’m Father David, the chaplain from your primary school. This is my wife.
LOKIFAN: Oh, hi!
FATHER DAVID and WIFE turn back around and find their places like good Anglicans.
WIFE: *spanks Father David’s arse*
LOKIFAN: !!!
And we had the wedding...
RECTOR: Cities nowadays are countrified with ‘country’ kitchens, and 4-by-4s, and Agas...
LOKIFAN: Well clearly fears about this parish being inaccessible to those who aren’t middle-class and retired are completely unfounded. Ahem.
DEAREST MOTHER: *snicker*
I hadn't thought I was getting to go to the reception! But I was allowed to after all. Which I feel is only fair, because the reward for sitting through the wedding (with Eucharist, damnit) is the reception.
BRIDE AND GROOM: *dance*
Since they’re both in their forties and somewhat overweight, and neither especially in tune with current trends, this dance was energetic, but... er...
LOKIFAN: My eyes are bleeding. I may never dance again.
CUTE BOY: I enjoy a challenge! And I want to dance.
LOKIFAN: On the other hand, the mantle of the macarena must be passed on to the younger generation!
CUTE BOY and LOKIFAN: *dance*
VERY PRETTY SISTERS: *sit together and pout*
LOKIFAN: Ahaha.
DEAREST MOTHER: *plays the spoons*
LOKIFAN: *sits chatting to Cute Boy and heroically does not fall over*
DEAREST MOTHER: *heads back over*
LOKIFAN (severely): Mum, you’re pissed.
DEAREST MOTHER: I’m not! You are.
LOKIFAN: Well, yes...
CUTE BOY: *perks up*
So yes, although Saturday began with Dearest Mother being somewhat less than dear, it ended with me and a cute boy snogging. I feel this represents progress.
The wedding was much more interesting.
On the train to it, there was a bunch of boys, probably around twelve. One was doing a party trick with his strawberry laces, and taught the others to do it.
BOY: So you’ve just got to swallow the whole thing without choking! Nah, you’re just keeping it in the back of your throat – you’ve gotta swallow it, and then you can pull the whole thing out.
BOY WITH BIKE: Oi, do it again! I wanna watch.
BOYS: *learn trick*
LOKIFAN: I hope to God some of them are gay. A destroyed gag reflex is a terrible thing to waste.
In the church, I played my usual wedding game, in which hats are rated on basis of size, colour, and added features. The winner was a massive magenta creation with a fascinator the size of Wales.
FATHER DAVID: Hello! Do you remember me? I’m Father David, the chaplain from your primary school. This is my wife.
LOKIFAN: Oh, hi!
FATHER DAVID and WIFE turn back around and find their places like good Anglicans.
WIFE: *spanks Father David’s arse*
LOKIFAN: !!!
And we had the wedding...
RECTOR: Cities nowadays are countrified with ‘country’ kitchens, and 4-by-4s, and Agas...
LOKIFAN: Well clearly fears about this parish being inaccessible to those who aren’t middle-class and retired are completely unfounded. Ahem.
DEAREST MOTHER: *snicker*
I hadn't thought I was getting to go to the reception! But I was allowed to after all. Which I feel is only fair, because the reward for sitting through the wedding (with Eucharist, damnit) is the reception.
BRIDE AND GROOM: *dance*
Since they’re both in their forties and somewhat overweight, and neither especially in tune with current trends, this dance was energetic, but... er...
LOKIFAN: My eyes are bleeding. I may never dance again.
CUTE BOY: I enjoy a challenge! And I want to dance.
LOKIFAN: On the other hand, the mantle of the macarena must be passed on to the younger generation!
CUTE BOY and LOKIFAN: *dance*
VERY PRETTY SISTERS: *sit together and pout*
LOKIFAN: Ahaha.
DEAREST MOTHER: *plays the spoons*
LOKIFAN: *sits chatting to Cute Boy and heroically does not fall over*
DEAREST MOTHER: *heads back over*
LOKIFAN (severely): Mum, you’re pissed.
DEAREST MOTHER: I’m not! You are.
LOKIFAN: Well, yes...
CUTE BOY: *perks up*
So yes, although Saturday began with Dearest Mother being somewhat less than dear, it ended with me and a cute boy snogging. I feel this represents progress.
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 07:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 07:12 pm (UTC)...Capslock is justified for a lipslock, at least when it's the first in a month.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 04:31 pm (UTC)On the other hand, uni! Many opportunities for kissing there.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-19 01:11 am (UTC)me us posted. ;-)no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 10:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 07:14 pm (UTC)*is uncouth*
*wears a hoodie and hangs around at street corners*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 08:08 pm (UTC)That's why you missed this:
http://leochi.livejournal.com/149230.html
But it's understandable *g*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 08:36 pm (UTC)