Historical Romance makes me sad
Sep. 16th, 2008 11:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lokifanI just tried reading a recently published ‘historical romance’. I did not enjoy it. And what do we do when we don’t enjoy something? That’s right, folks! We write drabble-sized parodies.
One hundred words of drama! Romance! Drama! Also punishing kisses, blazing passions and a fiery red-headed heroine.
“I cannot!” exclaimed Sara. “Not until the wedding night!”
She glared, her blazing red curls falling about her face. Mr Firth’s manly jaw clenched as he tried to control his passions, dark eyes blazing. Then he seized her, and caught her ruby lips in a punishing kiss.
Not too punishing, like prison. More like community service.
“No!” Sara insisted. “Not until I’m your wife, until I know you truly love me!”
His eyes seemed to see into her soul.
“You will yield,” he rumbled. “For I’ll speak three words that will change your life forever.”
He whispered: “Reliable birth control.”
One hundred words of drama! Romance! Drama! Also punishing kisses, blazing passions and a fiery red-headed heroine.
“I cannot!” exclaimed Sara. “Not until the wedding night!”
She glared, her blazing red curls falling about her face. Mr Firth’s manly jaw clenched as he tried to control his passions, dark eyes blazing. Then he seized her, and caught her ruby lips in a punishing kiss.
Not too punishing, like prison. More like community service.
“No!” Sara insisted. “Not until I’m your wife, until I know you truly love me!”
His eyes seemed to see into her soul.
“You will yield,” he rumbled. “For I’ll speak three words that will change your life forever.”
He whispered: “Reliable birth control.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 10:38 pm (UTC)Not too punishing, like prison. More like community service.
Funniest nine words I have ever read in the history of ever. EVER.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 04:33 pm (UTC)Yay! You make me grin so much. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 05:49 am (UTC)And this is why I have forsaken
hystericalhistorical romance for paranormal romance. Paranormal heroines kick ass!no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 04:25 pm (UTC)