Femme-iest of the feminists
Sep. 17th, 2016 06:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lokifanHey, I never told you guys I was at the last day of Nine Worlds! It was SUPER brief so sadly I didn’t meet any flisters (and saw like five people across the bar I wanted to chat with and then they were gone. *waves at rozk and abigailb*) It was great though. At about 11a.m. I was at Miss Godfrey and Ginger Nut’s flat, having stayed over after bridesmaid-ing, and feeling happy but very sweaty and morning-after-y, when what do I see? A Facebook post offering a Sunday pass because a friend of mine, sadly, had ill family members. So I nabbed it, went home and showered, and then LAST SIX HOURS OF NINE WORLDS YAY. Which just consisted of barcon, basically, but it was lovely to stop in and soak up the energy.
Also hahaha it was funny being in that particular place, because like. Suddenly am not the femme-iest queer girl in the room! *hugsdora_the_nymph and her glitter nail varnish* And at the wedding - well both brides are very femme, right, but I was in this plunging bridesmaid dress with a massive petticoat and sparkly heels, and then some mutual friends from uni showed up, who were two lesbians + girlfriends all rocking the buttoned-up-shirt-and-jeans uniform. The five of us went outside to hang out/smoke, and I looked around and was just like ...yes, yep, I am definitely on one side of this dynamic.
(A ~friend of mine did my hair before a fancy evening one time, and I loooove getting my hair played withand pulled and she was being all subtly dominant and it was great. But it does make me laugh in retrospect because like, how do femme women flirt with each other? CONSTRUCTING ELABORATE UPDOS. Obviously.)
Last weekend I went to my dear cousin Jack’s wedding. It was a nice day and a very her combination of sooo traditionally English (it was this tiny little sixteenth-century church in the West Country down a bunch of country lanes, she wore white lace, rolling green hills in all the pictures) and touches of exotica (the dinner was Asian fusion -- Thai and Korean -- and I’m sure that was Jack because she lived in Thailand for two years - I think her now-husband is half-Asian, but Chinese. Hard to tell because husband’s family was pretty much absent). Jack’s dad was my favourite uncle and died a few years ago, so there were some tears. But it was lovely; my other uncle is a priest and has always been close to Jacksparrow and he officiated.
We were very clearly the loud side of the family :D Cheering for our name, cheering for the mention of being a feminist in the wedding speeches, at one point bursting into tears near-simultaneously over my uncle not being there.
The party at the village hall was blown off-course for me because Youngest Sister got INCREDIBLY drunk. She was pretty pissed by the end of dinner (prosecco in the churchyard during pics, wine at dinner) and then my youngest cousin Dreadful gave her a G&T. She’s very slim so it doesn’t take much. Middle Sister and I spent over an hour following her around the dancefloor, keeping her from falling and detaching her from various men who were not responding to a soused twenty-two-year-old the way they should. We gave her big glasses of water telling her they were G&Ts and she didn’t notice. She got annoyed with us pretty quickly, which was fair (every time she turned around we were there, dragging her off to dance or sit with us) but also worrying -- a creepy guy our dad’s age came over to be jovial and then hit on Middle Sister; at one point Youngest Sister stumbled into the backroom where they were doing the music and I spent ten minutes persuading her to come away. Luckily she forgot that she was annoyed with me pretty fast!
In the end we got her to sit in a corner of the garden while Terrible - my favourite cousin, starting his fifth year of medical school - helped her throw up. Terrible and I still got to sit and have a chat while we were looking after her, so that was nice. It was a shame because we missed some stories about our grandparents (who died before we were born/were old enough to remember them) but y’know. Sisterly duties. I don’t mind, actually; I danced throughout Violet and the Dark Lady’s reception a few weeks ago and didn’t really like the music at this one, so it didn’t feel like I missed that much. I just feel bad for Youngest Sister because getting paralytic at a family wedding means she will NEVER hear the end of it.
I feel sort of guilty about the very nice owners of the B&B we stayed at. Even after throwing up she could barely speak; getting her up two flights of stairs needed Middle Sister and I on either side of her, and mud was left all over the stairs - like, I would’ve cleaned my heels from churchyard mud in other circumstances, but…
Ah well. I love weddings, and this was surprisingly fun overall :D I suspect I suffered less than Dad. He was pretty drunk too (he told me AND my aunt that he’d never liked my uncle’s second wife, and he is an upper-middle-class Englishman, he’s not a big sharer) and had no idea how drunk Youngest Sister was. Mum got pretty irritated (“take some responsibility for your fucking daughter!”) Which is one of those difficult things, because like… yes, he should be noticing that his youngest is so drunk she literally can’t talk, but she was walking and dancing and had me and Middle Sister around her, and he was drunk, and it’s one of those things where the women in the family end up doing that kind of caretaking work but because they’re doing it and he feels helpless and resented, he’s not sure what to do, and it’s a vicious cycle. One I have a great deal of sympathy for, as the traditionally excluded/scapegoated member of the immediate family. I mean he came over and was briefly helpful so I hope that helped all round.
ANYWAY. I’m staying in tonight and looking at jobs abroad (my work has become very part-time, I don’t think it’ll be tenable after October) and I’m thinking I’ll do a meme to encourage chatting. I’ve missed you guys.
rozk and abigailb*) It was great though. At about 11a.m. I was at Miss Godfrey and Ginger Nut’s flat, having stayed over after bridesmaid-ing, and feeling happy but very sweaty and morning-after-y, when what do I see? A Facebook post offering a Sunday pass because a friend of mine, sadly, had ill family members. So I nabbed it, went home and showered, and then LAST SIX HOURS OF NINE WORLDS YAY. Which just consisted of barcon, basically, but it was lovely to stop in and soak up the energy.Also hahaha it was funny being in that particular place, because like. Suddenly am not the femme-iest queer girl in the room! *hugs
dora_the_nymph and her glitter nail varnish* And at the wedding - well both brides are very femme, right, but I was in this plunging bridesmaid dress with a massive petticoat and sparkly heels, and then some mutual friends from uni showed up, who were two lesbians + girlfriends all rocking the buttoned-up-shirt-and-jeans uniform. The five of us went outside to hang out/smoke, and I looked around and was just like ...yes, yep, I am definitely on one side of this dynamic.(A ~friend of mine did my hair before a fancy evening one time, and I loooove getting my hair played with
Last weekend I went to my dear cousin Jack’s wedding. It was a nice day and a very her combination of sooo traditionally English (it was this tiny little sixteenth-century church in the West Country down a bunch of country lanes, she wore white lace, rolling green hills in all the pictures) and touches of exotica (the dinner was Asian fusion -- Thai and Korean -- and I’m sure that was Jack because she lived in Thailand for two years - I think her now-husband is half-Asian, but Chinese. Hard to tell because husband’s family was pretty much absent). Jack’s dad was my favourite uncle and died a few years ago, so there were some tears. But it was lovely; my other uncle is a priest and has always been close to Jacksparrow and he officiated.
We were very clearly the loud side of the family :D Cheering for our name, cheering for the mention of being a feminist in the wedding speeches, at one point bursting into tears near-simultaneously over my uncle not being there.
The party at the village hall was blown off-course for me because Youngest Sister got INCREDIBLY drunk. She was pretty pissed by the end of dinner (prosecco in the churchyard during pics, wine at dinner) and then my youngest cousin Dreadful gave her a G&T. She’s very slim so it doesn’t take much. Middle Sister and I spent over an hour following her around the dancefloor, keeping her from falling and detaching her from various men who were not responding to a soused twenty-two-year-old the way they should. We gave her big glasses of water telling her they were G&Ts and she didn’t notice. She got annoyed with us pretty quickly, which was fair (every time she turned around we were there, dragging her off to dance or sit with us) but also worrying -- a creepy guy our dad’s age came over to be jovial and then hit on Middle Sister; at one point Youngest Sister stumbled into the backroom where they were doing the music and I spent ten minutes persuading her to come away. Luckily she forgot that she was annoyed with me pretty fast!
In the end we got her to sit in a corner of the garden while Terrible - my favourite cousin, starting his fifth year of medical school - helped her throw up. Terrible and I still got to sit and have a chat while we were looking after her, so that was nice. It was a shame because we missed some stories about our grandparents (who died before we were born/were old enough to remember them) but y’know. Sisterly duties. I don’t mind, actually; I danced throughout Violet and the Dark Lady’s reception a few weeks ago and didn’t really like the music at this one, so it didn’t feel like I missed that much. I just feel bad for Youngest Sister because getting paralytic at a family wedding means she will NEVER hear the end of it.
I feel sort of guilty about the very nice owners of the B&B we stayed at. Even after throwing up she could barely speak; getting her up two flights of stairs needed Middle Sister and I on either side of her, and mud was left all over the stairs - like, I would’ve cleaned my heels from churchyard mud in other circumstances, but…
Ah well. I love weddings, and this was surprisingly fun overall :D I suspect I suffered less than Dad. He was pretty drunk too (he told me AND my aunt that he’d never liked my uncle’s second wife, and he is an upper-middle-class Englishman, he’s not a big sharer) and had no idea how drunk Youngest Sister was. Mum got pretty irritated (“take some responsibility for your fucking daughter!”) Which is one of those difficult things, because like… yes, he should be noticing that his youngest is so drunk she literally can’t talk, but she was walking and dancing and had me and Middle Sister around her, and he was drunk, and it’s one of those things where the women in the family end up doing that kind of caretaking work but because they’re doing it and he feels helpless and resented, he’s not sure what to do, and it’s a vicious cycle. One I have a great deal of sympathy for, as the traditionally excluded/scapegoated member of the immediate family. I mean he came over and was briefly helpful so I hope that helped all round.
ANYWAY. I’m staying in tonight and looking at jobs abroad (my work has become very part-time, I don’t think it’ll be tenable after October) and I’m thinking I’ll do a meme to encourage chatting. I’ve missed you guys.
